This is going to be a strange post, I warn you now.
Just yesterday I decided to leave my husband. I was posting on another board about it in a discussion about BtVS and confessed that Spike had helped me reach this decision. One of the other board member asked what I meant. I'm going to C&P some of her post and my response. I thought you guys would get it better than anybody.
Bummer, but you sound pretty OK with it. I'm curious about the part where Buffy led you down this path, so if you ever feel like sharin', I'm a whore for diversions these days.
It is probably an exaggeration to say that Buffy led me down this path, but it did provide an epiphany.
I became so besotted with Spike it was ridiculous. And embarrassing. Keep in mind that I watched all seven seasons of Buffy and all five of Angel in around 2 months, so I wasn't sleeping much either. But I was thinking about Spike and his sorry situation ALL THE TIME. And I was even reading way too much fan fiction in a crazed attempt to find a version in which Spike triumphed. In which things turned out RIGHT.
I realized that my obsession was quite bizarre and I really did consider it some kind of sudden onset mental illness. But only a week or so ago I realized a striking parallel with my personal situation in this really unhappy marriage. Spike was turning himself inside out and upside down in a futile attempt to please this person who was so important to him. Said person took every opportunity to inform him that not only was she unimpressed with his efforts, but that there was something fundamentally wrong with him that was going to make a mockery of his desire to please her.
Of course, my situation is not nearly so cut and dried or melodramatic or even I would not have been such a dope as to stick around this long. But as I was shouting (in my head, thank God) for Spike to get some self-respect and stop taking her shit, finally a light went on.
And strangely enough, since this realization my interest in this beautiful and charming fictional creature has subsided into something that is not nearly so all-consuming and weird.
ETA I'm sorry for the Buffy bashing in this post. By the end of the show I was much more in sympathy with her. But it's kind of important to the point.
Stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.
The Buffyverse has really made this line resonate:
Yea though I walk in the shadow of the valley of death, I will fear no evil
...as long as I'm well armed.
I'd prefer and AK-47 to a point stick, myself.
"Yes, well, I, uh, I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, I, in fact I... well, I encourage you to, to always, uh, challenge me, uh, when you feel it's appropriate. You should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong."