Post by Onjel on Dec 21, 2006 13:35:25 GMT -5
A/K/A: "Saucy S'cubie Shenanigans Serial"
(scene opens on a closed eyeball and camera draws back to reveal Karen lying on the beach, clad only in a pair of black satin Victoria's secret underwear and sheer black bra. Lying beside her with one leg casually flung over Karen's leg, and wearing nothing but a strategicly placed palm frond barely covering his considerable assetts is Nathan Fillion)
Karen: (eyes fluttering open) Where am I? What? (notices Nathan) Captain Mal? (pauses for a moment as palm frond is briefly dislodged) Oh nice. I mean, now really nice. Wait a minute - what is going on?
Nathan: Who is talking so loud? (opens eyes) What's going on? (notices Karen, notices what he is not wearing) This may sound very cliched but I honestly have no idea who you are or where I am. Nice outfit by the way.
Karen: (Karen glances down at her chest, blushes) Uh. . . thanks. I honestly have no idea how I got here either. I was on my way to work---
Nathan: Yea, me too. I was in the limo, going over a script and now I'm naked and lying on a beach. What's the last thing you remember?
(Camera zooms in tight to their faces as the flashback begins)
Flashback begins
Karen distractedly searched her purse for her keys as she left her house. Looking up she noted that the sky was black with thunder clouds and there wasn't a glimmer of sunlight to be seen.
Karen: I hope I left my umbrella in the car. Boy, it's nasty out. Keys... keys..... where the - oh there they are. Why keys always hide in the darkest, deepest part of your purse is beyond me.
She pulled the house door shut and turned to rush to her car when she caroomed into a strong male chest.
Spike: Sorry luv.
Karen: Luv? (Blonde, lacquered hair, black t-shirt, black pants, black leather trench coat - it's not Halloween, this can't be Spike -he's a television character. Am I dreaming? Did I hit my head? A thousand thoughts raced through Karen's mind as she stared dumbstruck at Spike.
Spike: I seem to be a bit lost. I was looking for Monnie but I seemed to have taken a wrong turn.
Karen: Monnie?
Spike: It's her birthday and well. . . . we like to celebrate it appropriately. Last time we celebrated about 5.5 hours. Almost a record.
Karen: Birthday?
Spike: Are you alright luv? You keep repeating everything I say and you look a bit dazed.
Karen: I'm fine, I just - are you real? You look real and you feel real . (Karen slowly slides her hands up Spike's chest) Are you real?
Spike: You're looking a bit hot and bothered luv. Anything I can do to help?
Karen (grabs Spike and pulls him into the house. I may be dreaming but I don't care she thought.) Yes, you can. (Grabbing Spike she slipped her tongue into his mouth). Monnie told me to go ahead and start without her.
Spike: She's sharing is she? Well, well, well.
Karen: Yes, she fancied something different this year. (slips jacket off and pulls t-shirt over his head) I hope you don't mind.
Spike: A beautiful woman, ripping off my clothes? Trust me pet. I'm not Angel. I don't get all broody and angsty about things like this. I tend to be more of a "in the moment" man.
Karen: Works for me. (grabbing Spike's belt buckle she unloops the belt and reaches for his zipper)
Spike: Wait a minute.
Karen: What's wrong?
Spike: You have on far too many clothes.
Karen: I couldn't agree more.
As Karen and Spike shed the last articles of clothing, the door suddenly springs open. Monnie and Nathan walk in.
Monnie: Oh my God!
Nathan: Did we get the time wrong?
Karen: Monnie!
Spike: Hi luv! We went ahead and started without you as you said.
Monnie: Karen - Captain Mal was for you. Spike belongs to me!
Karen: Um . . . . sorry about that. It wasn't my fault . . . . . um . . . it was the leather. I just can't control myself around leather.
Nathan: (taking off his shirt) I have that problem too.
Monnie: But, but . . . .
Spike: Relax luv. Plenty of Spike to go around.
Karen: I'll say.
Nathan: Hey (pulling down his jeans) I'm standing right here.
Karen: Wow.
Monnie: Wow.
Spike: If we're talking about size --
Suddenly sirens go off and a loudspeaker booms.
Voice: This is the police. Everyone freeze!
To be continued . . . . . . Fade to Black.
As the flashback fades, Karen found herself back on the beach with a nude Nathan.
Karen: So uh . . . . . .
Nathan: Yea uh . . . . . .
Karen: I was thinking. . . . .
Nathan: Yes?
Karen: Do you have any idea how we got here and where our clothes are?
Nathan: Not a clue. I mean, I'm enjoying the view - don't get me wrong --
Karen: Oh me too. Definitely.
Nathan: The thing is, I kind of have sand up my ----
Suddenly Lola appears walking out of the forest. She is carrying two sets of clothes.
Lola: Looking for these?
Karen: Our clothes! Lola where did you find them?
Lola: You left them on our bed.
Karen: Our bed?
Lola: This morning when you and Nathan got up and yelled you were going to go skinny dipping?
Nathan: That sounds great right now actually. Did I mention there's this whole sand problem ----
Lola: On your chest? (Lola runs her fingers seductively up his chest. ) Because I could lick that little problem away.
Nathan: No, not my chest but I'm all for licking. Big fan of licking.
Lola growls.
Karen: Wait a minute - did you say our bed? How many people were in that bed?
Spike suddenly strides out of the jungle, clad in a pair of torn jeans.
Spike: Morning love. Anyone seen Monnie this morning?
Lola: Let's see (counting fingers) You, Me, Nathan, Spike, Monnie---
Karen: What?
Lola: It's a really big bed you know.
Karen: But I'm not, that is, I don't -----
Spike: You're all red love.
Nathan: About that licking?
To be continued
The latest installment, December 21, 2006
And in the continuing Story of Karen:
As nude Nathan, Victoria Secret wearing Karen, bare-chested blue jean clad Spike and red teddy wearing Lola stood in the sand talking the men suddenly began to feel weak in the knees.
Spike: What the hell?
Nathan: My legs. Damn (he grabbed frantically at Karen, his hand closing over a perky breast) Sorry about that, there's something wrong with my legs.
Karen: It's no problem. No problem whatsoever.
Spike: (grabbing Lola with both arms as he attempted to hook a leg around her) My legs won't work. I have no control over them. Is it a spell?
Monnie walked out of the ocean, her dripping bikini plastered to her body.
Monnie: Hi guys. What's going on?
Karen: Nathan and Spike are under some sort of spell. Their legs ---
Nathan: Are you sure you don't mind (he indicates his hands which are each tightly clasping a breast)
Karen: It's for a good cause.
Spike: My bloody legs are pulling me away. Get over here and put me in between you and Lola. Maybe both of you can keep this spell from working.
Monnie: I'll take the top Lola. I always like it on top.
Suddenly a figure appeared in the distance. As she got closer you could see it was Onjel. She was clad in a black leather bustier, tight black leather pants, with a matching black whip.
Karen: Who is that?
Lola: I feel like I should know but theres a blackness, a fog covering my memory.
Monnie: She looks evil.
Suddenly Spike and Nathan break free from the girls and start running to Onjel. They reach her and bow at her feet.
Onjel: Sorry girls. I need Spike and Nathan for a little experiment.
Karen: You fiend. Don't hurt them.
Onjel: Don't you worry you pretty little head about it sweetie. I'll take good care of them.
Monnie: You can't have them. They're our boyfriends.
Onjel: Your boyfriends? Well you know what they say about posession being 9 tenths of the law. I'll do my best to return them in one piece. Come on boys, time to (suggestive eyebrow) play.
Lola: Can I come too?
Karen: Lola!
Monnie: You traitor.
Lola: This is part of my plan. To rescue the guys. It has nothing to do with the fact that I kind of like the whole black leather and whip thing.
Karen: Lola!
Onjel: I feel like celebrating today. You boys have any ideas? Oh and Spike - lose the pants.
Onjel, Spike and Nathan walk back into the forest. After a few minutes, Spike's jeans come sailing out and land at the feet of the three girls.
Monnie: What do we do now?
To Be Continued
(scene opens on a closed eyeball and camera draws back to reveal Karen lying on the beach, clad only in a pair of black satin Victoria's secret underwear and sheer black bra. Lying beside her with one leg casually flung over Karen's leg, and wearing nothing but a strategicly placed palm frond barely covering his considerable assetts is Nathan Fillion)
Karen: (eyes fluttering open) Where am I? What? (notices Nathan) Captain Mal? (pauses for a moment as palm frond is briefly dislodged) Oh nice. I mean, now really nice. Wait a minute - what is going on?
Nathan: Who is talking so loud? (opens eyes) What's going on? (notices Karen, notices what he is not wearing) This may sound very cliched but I honestly have no idea who you are or where I am. Nice outfit by the way.
Karen: (Karen glances down at her chest, blushes) Uh. . . thanks. I honestly have no idea how I got here either. I was on my way to work---
Nathan: Yea, me too. I was in the limo, going over a script and now I'm naked and lying on a beach. What's the last thing you remember?
(Camera zooms in tight to their faces as the flashback begins)
Flashback begins
Karen distractedly searched her purse for her keys as she left her house. Looking up she noted that the sky was black with thunder clouds and there wasn't a glimmer of sunlight to be seen.
Karen: I hope I left my umbrella in the car. Boy, it's nasty out. Keys... keys..... where the - oh there they are. Why keys always hide in the darkest, deepest part of your purse is beyond me.
She pulled the house door shut and turned to rush to her car when she caroomed into a strong male chest.
Spike: Sorry luv.
Karen: Luv? (Blonde, lacquered hair, black t-shirt, black pants, black leather trench coat - it's not Halloween, this can't be Spike -he's a television character. Am I dreaming? Did I hit my head? A thousand thoughts raced through Karen's mind as she stared dumbstruck at Spike.
Spike: I seem to be a bit lost. I was looking for Monnie but I seemed to have taken a wrong turn.
Karen: Monnie?
Spike: It's her birthday and well. . . . we like to celebrate it appropriately. Last time we celebrated about 5.5 hours. Almost a record.
Karen: Birthday?
Spike: Are you alright luv? You keep repeating everything I say and you look a bit dazed.
Karen: I'm fine, I just - are you real? You look real and you feel real . (Karen slowly slides her hands up Spike's chest) Are you real?
Spike: You're looking a bit hot and bothered luv. Anything I can do to help?
Karen (grabs Spike and pulls him into the house. I may be dreaming but I don't care she thought.) Yes, you can. (Grabbing Spike she slipped her tongue into his mouth). Monnie told me to go ahead and start without her.
Spike: She's sharing is she? Well, well, well.
Karen: Yes, she fancied something different this year. (slips jacket off and pulls t-shirt over his head) I hope you don't mind.
Spike: A beautiful woman, ripping off my clothes? Trust me pet. I'm not Angel. I don't get all broody and angsty about things like this. I tend to be more of a "in the moment" man.
Karen: Works for me. (grabbing Spike's belt buckle she unloops the belt and reaches for his zipper)
Spike: Wait a minute.
Karen: What's wrong?
Spike: You have on far too many clothes.
Karen: I couldn't agree more.
As Karen and Spike shed the last articles of clothing, the door suddenly springs open. Monnie and Nathan walk in.
Monnie: Oh my God!
Nathan: Did we get the time wrong?
Karen: Monnie!
Spike: Hi luv! We went ahead and started without you as you said.
Monnie: Karen - Captain Mal was for you. Spike belongs to me!
Karen: Um . . . . sorry about that. It wasn't my fault . . . . . um . . . it was the leather. I just can't control myself around leather.
Nathan: (taking off his shirt) I have that problem too.
Monnie: But, but . . . .
Spike: Relax luv. Plenty of Spike to go around.
Karen: I'll say.
Nathan: Hey (pulling down his jeans) I'm standing right here.
Karen: Wow.
Monnie: Wow.
Spike: If we're talking about size --
Suddenly sirens go off and a loudspeaker booms.
Voice: This is the police. Everyone freeze!
To be continued . . . . . . Fade to Black.
As the flashback fades, Karen found herself back on the beach with a nude Nathan.
Karen: So uh . . . . . .
Nathan: Yea uh . . . . . .
Karen: I was thinking. . . . .
Nathan: Yes?
Karen: Do you have any idea how we got here and where our clothes are?
Nathan: Not a clue. I mean, I'm enjoying the view - don't get me wrong --
Karen: Oh me too. Definitely.
Nathan: The thing is, I kind of have sand up my ----
Suddenly Lola appears walking out of the forest. She is carrying two sets of clothes.
Lola: Looking for these?
Karen: Our clothes! Lola where did you find them?
Lola: You left them on our bed.
Karen: Our bed?
Lola: This morning when you and Nathan got up and yelled you were going to go skinny dipping?
Nathan: That sounds great right now actually. Did I mention there's this whole sand problem ----
Lola: On your chest? (Lola runs her fingers seductively up his chest. ) Because I could lick that little problem away.
Nathan: No, not my chest but I'm all for licking. Big fan of licking.
Lola growls.
Karen: Wait a minute - did you say our bed? How many people were in that bed?
Spike suddenly strides out of the jungle, clad in a pair of torn jeans.
Spike: Morning love. Anyone seen Monnie this morning?
Lola: Let's see (counting fingers) You, Me, Nathan, Spike, Monnie---
Karen: What?
Lola: It's a really big bed you know.
Karen: But I'm not, that is, I don't -----
Spike: You're all red love.
Nathan: About that licking?
To be continued
The latest installment, December 21, 2006
And in the continuing Story of Karen:
As nude Nathan, Victoria Secret wearing Karen, bare-chested blue jean clad Spike and red teddy wearing Lola stood in the sand talking the men suddenly began to feel weak in the knees.
Spike: What the hell?
Nathan: My legs. Damn (he grabbed frantically at Karen, his hand closing over a perky breast) Sorry about that, there's something wrong with my legs.
Karen: It's no problem. No problem whatsoever.
Spike: (grabbing Lola with both arms as he attempted to hook a leg around her) My legs won't work. I have no control over them. Is it a spell?
Monnie walked out of the ocean, her dripping bikini plastered to her body.
Monnie: Hi guys. What's going on?
Karen: Nathan and Spike are under some sort of spell. Their legs ---
Nathan: Are you sure you don't mind (he indicates his hands which are each tightly clasping a breast)
Karen: It's for a good cause.
Spike: My bloody legs are pulling me away. Get over here and put me in between you and Lola. Maybe both of you can keep this spell from working.
Monnie: I'll take the top Lola. I always like it on top.
Suddenly a figure appeared in the distance. As she got closer you could see it was Onjel. She was clad in a black leather bustier, tight black leather pants, with a matching black whip.
Karen: Who is that?
Lola: I feel like I should know but theres a blackness, a fog covering my memory.
Monnie: She looks evil.
Suddenly Spike and Nathan break free from the girls and start running to Onjel. They reach her and bow at her feet.
Onjel: Sorry girls. I need Spike and Nathan for a little experiment.
Karen: You fiend. Don't hurt them.
Onjel: Don't you worry you pretty little head about it sweetie. I'll take good care of them.
Monnie: You can't have them. They're our boyfriends.
Onjel: Your boyfriends? Well you know what they say about posession being 9 tenths of the law. I'll do my best to return them in one piece. Come on boys, time to (suggestive eyebrow) play.
Lola: Can I come too?
Karen: Lola!
Monnie: You traitor.
Lola: This is part of my plan. To rescue the guys. It has nothing to do with the fact that I kind of like the whole black leather and whip thing.
Karen: Lola!
Onjel: I feel like celebrating today. You boys have any ideas? Oh and Spike - lose the pants.
Onjel, Spike and Nathan walk back into the forest. After a few minutes, Spike's jeans come sailing out and land at the feet of the three girls.
Monnie: What do we do now?
To Be Continued