|
Post by Sharky on Oct 21, 2005 14:10:26 GMT -5
Well, I wrote this shortly after "Smile Time".... The Angel Show To the tune of "The Muppet Show" Theme
It's time to slay the demons It's time to fight the fight It's time for brooding violence on the Angel Show tonight.
It's time to ogle Fred now It's time Wes translates right It's time for 'pocalypses on the Angel Show tonight.
Why do the fans all come here? Levin will never know. Joss made Jordy feel stupid So he cancelled his show.
Things were just getting started The ratings climb was charted But now we have been parted From the most vampirical often lyrical quite hysterical never clerical This is what we call the Angel Show!
(Spike blows a raspberry)
|
|
|
Post by Sharky on Oct 26, 2005 9:53:07 GMT -5
In my youth, living out "That 70's Show" for real, some girls I knew used to harmonize beautifully on a Civil War song called "The Cruel War". My adaptation of that is here for your amusement. The Cruel Joss
My master's Joss Whedon Although he makes me cry. He creates such great characters Then makes them all die.
Our heroine Buffy By Joss' pen died twice But each time she was brought back By some plot device.
There once was a teacher A gypsy by her birth. She was loved by a Watcher. While she watched a curse.
'Twas chased through the halls Of Sunnydale's doomed High By Angelus who caught her And Jenny then died.
When Joss lost his mother He thought he'd share the tale. So Joyce became "The Body" And from life did sail.
Much later came Tara Who loved the bookish Will. And so great was the outcry When Joss her did kill.
When Angel first started A demon showed the way. But a Hero was needed So Doyle had to pay.
He survived the mummy, The swim team and much more But a knife in a friend's hand. Laid Jonny at death's door.
The ex-demon Anya Fought 'Bringers all in vain Till one crept up behind her And sliced her in twain.
A feint of an ending... Joss killed off Blondie Bear. But although hell was calling Spike came back from there.
Then Angel's girl Friday, Cordelia with her snark, Spent a year in a coma 'Ere losing her spark.
In Angel's third season, We met a girl named Fred. She was brainy and funny, So now she is dead.
The failed Watcher Wesley Had grown into a man. But that still didn't save him. From Joss Whedon's hand.
In fact, the survivors Of Angel's cancelled show May have died in an alley. We may never know.
On Firefly we learned to Love Shepherd Book. But some pathos was needed. So his life Joss took.
Then Wash flew Serenity Like a leaf in the wind. So of course, as we relaxed, Joss made his life end.
My master's Joss Whedon Although he makes me cry. He creates such great characters Then makes them all die.
|
|
|
Post by Sharky on Nov 7, 2005 9:43:10 GMT -5
Miss Kitty's Requiem (Apologies to JM and JW for the RIP-off)
I died So many years ago But Tara makes me feel Like it isn't so And how that this all came to be I think you finally know
Meowwwww....
The Key Ashamed of what she'd done She couldn't tell the ones she loved But had nowhere to run. Now the end is nearly here And evil's almost won.
Let me rest in peace
Let me rest in peace Eat some astral fish Lap up fifteen quarts of half and half From my celestial dish.
Dawn should put that crossbow down Or put the safety on at least. And let me rest in peace.
|
|
|
Post by Sharky on Feb 3, 2006 16:48:13 GMT -5
A favorite tune you may not know, "Turn of a Friendly Card". It's from so many years ago. Alan Parsons was the bard. Till She Dies & Another Is Called There are unsmiling faces in alleys so dark, She can't see them but knows they are lurking. So she strolls through the night as if she's on a lark When the truth is that she is out working.
She's the one that they all call the Chosen One The one girl who can stand against all And the Slayer must fight all the creatures of night. Till she dies and another is called.
Unlike all those before her she's joined by her friends, For together they make a great war squad, They've defeated the Master, Angelus, the Snake, And they even beat Glory the Hell-god.
She's the one that they all call the Chosen One The one girl who can stand against all And the Slayer must fight all the creatures of night. Till she dies and another is called.
Against undying Evil they stood at the last, While the souled vamp gave all for their saving. And the Hellmouth became just a dream of their past As the ground all around them was caving.
For you see, now she's one of the Chosen Ones All those girls with their power set free. And the Slayers will fight all the creatures of night And what then? Well, my friends, we will see....
For you see, now she's one of the Chosen Ones All those girls with their power set free. And the Slayers will fight all the creatures of night And what then? Well, my friends, we will see....
|
|
|
Post by Onjel on Feb 3, 2006 21:41:47 GMT -5
Oh, Sharky that was wonderful! #claps# #bid# #claps# #bid#
|
|
|
Post by Karen on Aug 3, 2006 9:56:00 GMT -5
From the awesome Sharky:I haven't done one of these for a bit, so be gentle. From Glory's Tower To the tune of "Ring of Fire", with apologies to June Carter, who wrote it, and Johnny Cash, who made it famous. Slaying's a tiring thing, An end, I thought I'd bring., And so, I had the pow'r, I jumped off of Glory's tower.
Chorus I jumped off of Glory's freakin' tower, I went down, down, down, To prevent the Key's power
And I fell to earth From Glory's tower. From Glory's tower.
My sister was the Key. No human girl was she. Her blood would drop the walls And hellbeasts out would crawl.
Chorus I jumped off of Glory's freakin' tower, I went down, down, down, To prevent the Key's power.
And I fell to earth From Glory's tower. From Glory's tower.
For love, I gave my all. To earth, I had to fall. The veil my death would mend And bring Hell to an end.
Chorus I jumped off of Glory's freakin' tower, I went down, down, down, To prevent the Key's power
And I fell to earth From Glory's tower. From Glory's tower.
|
|
|
Post by Sharky on Dec 19, 2006 9:17:54 GMT -5
A Week Before Christmas
'Twas a week before Christmas on SSMB. The S'cubies were posting and laughing with glee. Some exchanged gifts on 'ol Santa's gift thread While others were dreaming of Spike in their beds.
Vlad, our dear leader, was counseling Spring Trying to tell her an important thing. "Dear Spring, under wraps you must keep both the boobies. They're quite nice to look at but frighten the N'ubies."
Latest to join in the fun, Angelique Had found in the S'cubies the gang she did seek. Though troubled by customers teenage and drunk On our Board she liked the way thinking was thunk.
Matthew was writing 'bout feeling the stress Of how Christmas-time can be one snarled up mess. Pixi was strewing her perk through the air To cheer us all up, while sparkling our hair.
Rachael was freezing in jolly San Fran. "The cats hate the cold!" was the message from Anne. Julia remembered a cold Waco bed. While Sara showed up to prove she wasn't dead.
Onjel and Jan, Erin and Fotada All dreamed of things that they hadn't of oughta. While Christmas bore down on the S'cubies full speed, We thought about things that we truly do need.
A warm place to type and a high-speed connection, Some cocoa to wash down a chocolate confection, A world with more love and more peace and less fear, A script from Joss Whedon on TV next year.
The knowledge that whate'er the season may lack When problems arise, all the S'cubes have your back. And though there are those who we miss every day Much joy that for now on this Board we can play.
So before this Shark leaves for his trip on the morrow, I wish you a Christmas that's free from all sorrow. And to all of the S'cubies, here's a saying you'll like, "Merry Christmas to All, and to All, a Souled Spike!"
|
|
|
Post by Sharky on Mar 6, 2007 11:31:56 GMT -5
A "Heroes" entry: Horn-Rimmed Glasses To the tune of ZZ Top's "Cheap Sunglasses"
When you get up in the morning and you head to Primatech The first thing you do when your warm feet hit the deck Is kiss your special daughter and send her to her classes. And hide yourself behind your horn-rimmed glasses. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Well you say you're selling paper but that really just ain't true You've got your higher-ups that nobody knows but you. And the Haitian's little mind-wipes are covering their asses While you hide yourself behind your horn-rimmed glasses. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
We know you're Mr. Bennett but we don't know your first name And now your precious daughter is caught up in your game. Her power's still providing "Get Out of Death Free" passes. While you hide yourself behind your horn-rimmed glasses. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Claire's running with the Haitian and you've been shot in the gut. That seems pretty karmic and I'd say "Good riddance", but A lot that you did was to keep Claire safe from the masses While you hid yourself behind your horn-rimmed glasses. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
|
|
|
Post by Sharky on Mar 6, 2007 11:35:43 GMT -5
Another "Heroes" entry that I did awhile back but never posted on the rhyming thread: Nakamura To the tune of Rodgers' & Hammerstein's "Oklahoma!"
Na-----kamura He's our fav'rite time/space bending guy. His first name's Hiro, and don't you know He'll look like a ninja by and by.
Na-----kamura With his best friend Ando by his side Roams across the west and does his best To keep ol' New York from getting fried.
We don't know where he'll get his sword. Will it come from a real dragon's hoard?
But until then, wow! He's really hooked us now. I'm only saying "You're doin' fine Nakamura You're our Hero, and how!"
|
|
|
Post by beccaelizabeth on Mar 15, 2007 14:31:48 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Sharky on Jul 9, 2007 14:47:27 GMT -5
I Am a Robot to the tune of Lennon and McCartney’s “I am the Walrus”
Ted is dead but Ted made me and now I’m Ted and I’ll do him one better. I’ve got his life and just need a wife. That Joyce is nice. I’ll try her.
Try the mini-pizzas, I make them a special way And my trademark cookies, won’t give my recipe, But if you’ll just try them You’ll be seeing things my way.
I’m Ted Buchanan, Computer salesman, I am a robot. Give me a lube.
Sitting in the Summers’ kitchen Watching little Buffy scowl. Don’t know why she’s huffy she thinks she’s a toughie I won’t take her guff, see, ‘cause I’m just not wired that way.
I’m Ted Buchanan, the super salesman, I am a robot. Give me a lube.
Thought she had me. I came back, see? Now I’ll get her, wait a minute that’s my pan! Opened up my face, oww, and she thinks I’m dead now. Lying on the scrap heap as the years all tick away.
I’m Ted Buchanan, the super salesman, I am a robot. Give me a lube
Give me a lube, please Give me a lube, please Give me a lube.
|
|
|
Post by Karen on Nov 19, 2007 9:48:16 GMT -5
Willow's Thanksgving SongTo the tune of the hymn "We Gather Together"We gather together to think of the lost ones. The indigent people of Thanksgivings past. The ones our ancestors gave boils that all did fester And herpes and smallpox. I'm just quite aghast! My mother has taught me to feel all superior, Thanksgiving she says we should best just forget. We're watching the telly and stuffing our bellies When millions are starving and more will starve yet. I'm sure that's it's helpful to feel bad about it. Though Spike seems to think that it's wrong, just the same. My moping and griping makes Spikey feel like sniping. But now, with his chip, Spike is just kinda lame. But Buffy is cooking a big stinking dinner. For some reason she has become quite obsessed. I tried to say no, that to eat a sweet potato Just isn't a treat, it's a yam sham at best. And Xander's come down with a list of diseases The ones that our forebears brought over to share He's laying down moaning, occasionally groaning. While Anya shows him symptoms and doesn't seem to care. The battle is over, the demons are slain now. And Thanksgiving dinner is all now consumed. I caved and chowed down now, I feel like a big cow. I'm looking at the pie, and I'll tell ya, it's doomed.
|
|
|
Post by Sharky on Feb 12, 2009 16:46:52 GMT -5
Spike Lives To the tune of "Hey Jude", with apologies to Messrs. Lennon and McCartney.
It's gone, And I feel sad. No more "Buffy the Vampire Slayer.." The laughter, heroism, and fear And, yes, the tears we shared made life gayer.
But, no, not in that sense, Although Willow's def'nitly gay now. I mean Joss Whedon brightened our lives Still we must strive to say good-bye somehow.
Chorus And though the show went off the air, I must declare That watching the disks makes the pain lessen. And coming here to reminisce still helps us miss Our heroes a little less, I'm guessin'.
Verse So, S'cubies raise a cheer, in our hearts Spike will live forever. Well, yeah, he's technically undead That goes unsaid. The song's done, whatever.
Finale Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na, Spike Lives! [Repeat ad nauseam]
|
|