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Post by Kerrie on Jun 1, 2004 23:47:05 GMT -5
I am just venting.
I have started counselling for my "depression" today. It is very stressful and will probably get worse by having to talk to someone about private issues. In some ways I wish I could just take anti-depressants and forget the rest, but I can't. I hate taking drugs (I have refused the drug component of my treatment, although I compromised by agreeing to take a herbal remedy) and I am not convinced they would work in this instance. I say I feel "depressed", but I don't feel so much depressed as suicidal. I am indifferent to my counsellor and I am not sure whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Time will tell. In any case I am not particularly happy that she wants to do things her way - I want her to treat the root causes of the depression that I have identified rather than her sifting through my private thoughts to make her own diagnosis. I have been to counsellors before so I know how rattled they get when I refuse permission for them to read my homework as soon as I legitimately can. This one will be no different. Bloody Trespassers!
Thanks for reading. I know I am being tiresome and childish.
Cheers.
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Post by Patti - S'cubie Cutie on Jun 2, 2004 0:08:36 GMT -5
I am just venting. I have started counselling for my "depression" today. It is very stressful and will probably get worse by having to talk to someone about private issues. In some ways I wish I could just take anti-depressants and forget the rest, but I can't. I hate taking drugs (I have refused the drug component of my treatment, although I compromised by agreeing to take a herbal remedy) and I am not convinced they would work in this instance. I say I feel "depressed", but I don't feel so much depressed as suicidal. I am indifferent to my counsellor and I am not sure whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Time will tell. In any case I am not particularly happy that she wants to do things her way - I want her to treat the root causes of the depression that I have identified rather than her sifting through my private thoughts to make her own diagnosis. I have been to counsellors before so I know how rattled they get when I refuse permission for them to read my homework as soon as I legitimately can. This one will be no different. Bloody Trespassers! Thanks for reading. I know I am being tiresome and childish. Cheers. Kerrie, I hear you. I've been in bad places too. I have no answers for anyone but me, but I believe you can get through this, truly. Lots of willing listeners and free hugs available on this board. *hug* |
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Post by Karen on Jun 2, 2004 8:06:32 GMT -5
Kerrie, I hear you. I've been in bad places too. I have no answers for anyone but me, but I believe you can get through this, truly. Lots of willing listeners and free hugs available on this board. *hug* Yes, Kerrie. We all love you and wish the best for you. Please come by anytime to vent to your S'cubie family. {{Kerrie}} |
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Post by SpringSummers on Jun 2, 2004 11:23:22 GMT -5
I am just venting. I have started counselling for my "depression" today. It is very stressful and will probably get worse by having to talk to someone about private issues. In some ways I wish I could just take anti-depressants and forget the rest, but I can't. I hate taking drugs (I have refused the drug component of my treatment, although I compromised by agreeing to take a herbal remedy) and I am not convinced they would work in this instance. I say I feel "depressed", but I don't feel so much depressed as suicidal. I am indifferent to my counsellor and I am not sure whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Time will tell. In any case I am not particularly happy that she wants to do things her way - I want her to treat the root causes of the depression that I have identified rather than her sifting through my private thoughts to make her own diagnosis. I have been to counsellors before so I know how rattled they get when I refuse permission for them to read my homework as soon as I legitimately can. This one will be no different. Bloody Trespassers! Thanks for reading. I know I am being tiresome and childish. Cheers. I don't find you tiresome or childish, Kerrie. I've been in counseling myself before, and I know it is hard to think about the journey ahead, when you know it is likely to involve significant pain and tears and disappointment. But don't give up. I had a very imperfect counselor - everyone does, because - well, they are human beings. But once I was convinced my counselor was well intentioned, professional and knowledgable, I accepted his weaknesses and worked on identifying and taking advantage of his strengths. I was grateful for what he was good at (providing solid advice based on his considerable education and experience) and what he wasn't so good at (not very warm & fuzzy, or good at providing comfort) I sought elsewhere. Go at a pace that is comfortable for you. The important thing is to keep climbing upward overall and to let your counselor play whatever part she is good at, in helping you climb. Steep climbs take time. They hurt sometimes. It is OK for you to slip up sometimes and to do the "two steps forward, one step back." It's OK for your counselor to make mistakes along the way also - it's absolutely inevitable that she will (within limits, of course - find another counselor if you encounter true mean-spiritedness or incompetence, etc). I admire your courage in getting started on the climb. Be very good to yourself, Kerrie, and don't give up. |
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Post by Kerrie on Jun 3, 2004 17:26:16 GMT -5
Thanks Patti, Karen and Spring. I appreciate your openness and kind words.
{{Patti}}, {{Karen}}, {{Spring}}
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Post by Kerrie on Jul 19, 2004 20:41:23 GMT -5
It seems appropriate to put this here. I am going away to visit my folks for a week without Ian or the kids. (Admitedly my parents live in a tropical paradise, but they are good company too!  ) I was supposed to have my last counselling session last Wednesday so my counsellor administered various tests. It was difficult, but I managed to pass the dysfunctional thinking test. Luckily, my depression has improved to the "mild/moderately depressed" category. Needless to say I have been moderately depressed by these results. (I had counted on a complete cure!  ) I am hoping that this holiday will improve my spirits the last little bit, otherwise I think I will have to take the full-strength anti-depressants.  Thanks for reading. |
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Post by SpringSummers on Jul 20, 2004 5:14:07 GMT -5
It seems appropriate to put this here. I am going away to visit my folks for a week without Ian or the kids. (Admitedly my parents live in a tropical paradise, but they are good company too! ) I was supposed to have my last counselling session last Wednesday so my counsellor administered various tests. It was difficult, but I managed to pass the dysfunctional thinking test. Luckily, my depression has improved to the "mild/moderately depressed" category. Needless to say I have been moderately depressed by these results. (I had counted on a complete cure! ) I am hoping that this holiday will improve my spirits the last little bit, otherwise I think I will have to take the full-strength anti-depressants. Thanks for reading. Kerrie - all I can say about the week in a tropical paradise is that I am jealous, jealous, jealous! Tropical paradise! Sigh. Enjoy and relax. Recovery from depression and the like takes time, but you are working on it and you are sounding much improved. I send you all my best wishes. |
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Post by baunger1 on Oct 10, 2011 16:41:17 GMT -5
Hi Spring!
Just a few thoughts about your analysis of this episode.
The Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch. scene. If someone wanted me to show them in one minute or less 1) why I love Spike, and 2) why I think JM is a great talent, this scene would be a big contender. And as great as that line is, I swoon for "Hi, Buffy." He sounds exactly like a lovesick, young teen who's just bumped into his crush at the mall. And continues to sound like one in his childish defensiveness. And it makes so much sense -- Spike was pretty much emotionally arrested in terms of love/romance/relationship stuff when he was turned, and as William, he seemed pretty immature in this area (or at least naive and idealistic), even in the context of his era.
It's fascinating that they call each other by name here. Spike has previously only ever addressed her as Buffy in the dream sequence, when he's saying he loves her. I don't think she's ever addressed him as William before. So he initially sees her as Buffy when he's in an altered state of consciousness -- a dream state that reveals an unconscious truth; and she sees him as William in the aftermath of an altered state -- magic -- that enable her to see hidden truths. And for each of them, what's revealed are the human, non-supernatural parts of them -- William v. Spike, Buffy v. The Slayer. In the same way it will be revealed to Buffy, moments later, that Dawn is really human.
Re: Dawn representing Buffy's innocence. I do feel that this is part of why Spike loves Dawn, and why their relationship is so lovely. (I never like Dawn better than when she's with Spike). He's drawn to that goodness, and it's a version of Buffy who can love him, and who will allow him love her. And she's the part of Buffy that wants to love and accept him right back.
Thanks for the analysis and for kick-starting my brain, which has been very lazy all day.
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Post by SpringSummers on Oct 11, 2011 12:25:04 GMT -5
Hi! Yes, perfect choice for "show me in one minute or less why Spike/JM are so appealing." Right after Spike has tried to kill Buffy, James makes us believe, without a moment's doubt, in his schoolboy crush on Buffy. It's amazin.' Yes, I love the use of their "human names" too. Both parties are seeing through to the "human" behind the demon/slayer persona. The scene is just so well done by all involved. Agree! You're welcome. And thanks for the feedback. It is fun to re-visit the analysis and to read more thoughts on the topics. |
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) I was supposed to have my last counselling session last Wednesday so my counsellor administered various tests. It was difficult, but I managed to pass the dysfunctional thinking test. Luckily, my depression has improved to the "mild/moderately depressed" category. Needless to say I have been moderately depressed by these results. (I had counted on a complete cure! 
) I am hoping that this holiday will improve my spirits the last little bit, otherwise I think I will have to take the full-strength anti-depressants. 