|
Post by Queen E on May 3, 2005 10:30:49 GMT -5
When any information is available, would it be possible to email it to me? Josh and I would like to make donations to several charities Patti supported but I don't know which ones she did. That sounds like such a trite or insignificant way to pay our respects but it's what we have. S3 will always hold a special place in my heart because it was my first online group, my first online friends, my first online family. Time and distance doesn't change that. You all are in our continued thoughts and prayers. Much love, Lee Hi Lee. Hope you are well, and Josh too. On the "Just Causes" portion of the S3 site, Patti had listed two charities: The American Diabetes Association www.diabetes.org The Epilepsy Foundation www.epilepsyfoundation.org/Thank you for your kind thoughts and words, and I'm glad to see you; you've been missed a lot.
|
|
|
Post by Queen E on May 3, 2005 10:32:30 GMT -5
I'm 53 years old and both my mother and mother-in-law died 10 years ago. I posted about that the other day when we were discussing Mother's Day. I'm also not naturally a terribly sentimental person (random hormonal crying aside). What I realized late last night is that in at least one sense, Patti fulfilled the role of Scubie (den) Mother. She would probably be surprised to hear herself called that. Makd used sociological terms of Peacemaker and Kinkeeper. But translated into familial terms those roles equate to "Mom." So, yeah, I only met Patti face to face once (for which I know count myself unutterably blessed) and talked on the phone a few times. But I've read nearly every one of her 15,000+ (and alter egos) posts and undoubtedly spent more time with her in the past few years than any of my "in-the-flesh" friends and probably most of my blood-family members. And in board terms, well, to be blunt: It feels to me like I (we've) lost our "mother." And---it's very hard because of course my RL family will never understand that I am grieving. Altho I've told them all about Patti. Yesterday still feels surreal and in addition to sending my contact info (to Anne at least to start since she volunteered) I've decided, in Patti's memory, to take note of the folks around me in the neighborhood and at church---particularly those who are single with no family in town--and try to be aware of them and check up on them ocassionally. I'm sorry I haven't singled out particular posts to reply to. I have greatly appreciated all of your thoughts and remembrances (altho my nose is stuffy and my eyes are red). As with everyone I thank thank thank all of you who worked so hard to get the facts known AND I will volunteer to do whatever I can to help out here. Altho....I still feel a bit like I am staring down into the pit of Sunnydale and am pretty sure that there is no way to fill it back up. What can you do except hug the people closest to you and keep moving down the road? Patti wouldn't want us to end, I know that. She gave her time and sleep and sometimes her health to keep us up and running... Oh, and {{{{SUE}}}}
|
|
|
Post by Rachael on May 3, 2005 10:33:04 GMT -5
I guess I must be lucky; I called my mom this morning. My RL family does understand.
No, I know I'm lucky.
|
|
|
Post by Queen E on May 3, 2005 10:35:01 GMT -5
I guess I must be lucky; I called my mom this morning. My RL family does understand. No, I know I'm lucky. Mine too; Mom said, "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry..."
|
|
|
Post by Becky H on May 3, 2005 10:37:15 GMT -5
Mine too; Mom said, "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." Tony, too. But I'd rather not have to know that I'm lucky.
|
|
|
Post by Jan on May 3, 2005 10:37:19 GMT -5
Since others a posting poems they're reminded of, I offer this one, which is not as dark as it may first seem. By TS Eliot, Ash Wednesday, 1.
Because I do not hope to turn again Because I do not hope Because I do not hope to turn Desiring this man's gift and than man's scope I no longer strive to strive towards such things (Why shoud the aged eagle stretch its wings?) Why should I mourn The vanished power of the usual reign?
Because I do not hope to know again The infirm glory of the positive hour Because I do not think Because I know I shall not know The one veritable transitory power Because I cannot drink There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there is nothing again
Because I know that time is always time And place is always and only place And what is actual is actual only for one time and only for one place I rejoice that things are as they are and I renounce the blessed face And renounce the voice Because I cannot hope to turn again Consequently I rejoice, having to consruct something Upon which to rejoice
And pray to God to have mercy upon us And I pray that I may forget These matters that with myself I too much discuss Too much explain Because I do not hope to turn again Let these words answer For what is done, not to be done again May the judgement not be too heavy upon us
Because these wings are no longer wings to fly But merely vans to beat the air The air which is now thoroughly small and dry Smaller and dryer than the will Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still.
Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death Pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
I hope that those of us who are not deists can see this as "God as the Ground of Being" and please not be offended.
|
|
|
Post by Cal on May 3, 2005 10:37:47 GMT -5
Mine too; Mom said, "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." Paul has been wonderful. I don't think I could have got through today without him. {{Erin}} {{S'cubies}}
|
|
|
Post by Becky H on May 3, 2005 10:38:53 GMT -5
Since others a posting poems they're reminded of, I offer this one, which is not as dark as it may first seem. By TS Eliot, Ash Wednesday, 1. Because I do not hope to turn again Because I do not hope Because I do not hope to turn Desiring this man's gift and than man's scope I no longer strive to strive towards such things (Why shoud the aged eagle stretch its wings?) Why should I mourn The vanished power of the usual reign? Because I do not hope to know again The infirm glory of the positive hour Because I do not think Because I know I shall not know The one veritable transitory power Because I cannot drink There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there is nothing again Because I know that time is always time And place is always and only place And what is actual is actual only for one time and only for one place I rejoice that things are as they are and I renounce the blessed face And renounce the voice Because I cannot hope to turn again Consequently I rejoice, having to consruct something Upon which to rejoice And pray to God to have mercy upon us And I pray that I may forget These matters that with myself I too much discuss Too much explain Because I do not hope to turn again Let these words answer For what is done, not to be done again May the judgement not be too heavy upon us Because these wings are no longer wings to fly But merely vans to beat the air The air which is now thoroughly small and dry Smaller and dryer than the will Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death Pray for us now and at the hour of our death. I hope that those of us who are not deists can see this as "God as the Ground of Being" and please not be offended. Patti would have appreciated it and that's what matters right now. Thank you, Winter.
|
|
|
Post by Queen E on May 3, 2005 10:40:01 GMT -5
Paul has been wonderful. I don't think I could have got through today without him. {{Erin}} {{S'cubies}} {{{CAL}}}
|
|
|
Post by Jan on May 3, 2005 10:46:17 GMT -5
Paul has been wonderful. I don't think I could have got through today without him. {{Erin}} {{S'cubies}} Yes, I called Rich this morning and he was wonderful with me--it was a great help to cry into the phone. But also a help to cry into the keyboard. When I described the process we went through yesterday and last night he said we put the lie to anyone who says that virtual communities are not real, that certainly this one is. I feel that; it helped that he did, too.
|
|
|
Post by Shan on May 3, 2005 10:48:45 GMT -5
Erin, check PMs please and thanks...
|
|
|
Post by Cal on May 3, 2005 10:51:38 GMT -5
Yes, I called Rich this morning and he was wonderful with me--it was a great help to cry into the phone. But also a help to cry into the keyboard. When I described the process we went through yesterday and last night he said we put the lie to anyone who says that virtual communities are not real, that certainly this one is. I feel that; it helped that he did, too. I don't think Paul understood until today just how important you all are to me. I wasn't fortunate enough to meet Patti in person, but she was a dear, dear friend to me. I love her and miss her with all of my heart. I'm finding it so difficult to write about Patti in the past tense. It feels wrong.
|
|
|
Post by Rachael on May 3, 2005 10:55:34 GMT -5
Two things:
First, today is National Teachers Day...and Patti was a teacher. Just struck me, is all.
Second, a song, rather than a poem, from Paul McCartney and Elvis Costello:
That Day Is Done
I feel such sorrow, I feel such shame. I know I won't arrive on time Before whatever out there is gone. What can I do, that day is done.
It's just a promise that I made I said I'd walk in her parade. Hot scalding tears I thought would flow. Still in my heart, they'll never show.
That day is done, That day is done, You know where I've gone I won't be coming back That day is done.
Well I recall the time and place When they announced her precious face. I thought at once my heart would burst, Still every time is like the first.
There was applause when she stepped up. I wished that I could interrupt I made no sign, I made no sound I know I must stay underground.
That day is done...
That's why she walks, or so they say. She always knew just what I needed Now if she would just look my way One time before they proceed.
She sprinkles flowers in the dirt That's when a thrill becomes a hurt, I know I'll never see her face. She walks away from my resting place.
One of my favorites...and I've been hearing it in my head all morning.
|
|
|
Post by Becky H on May 3, 2005 10:57:22 GMT -5
I just looked at Patti's profile and I firmly believe that she did get to hear, "Welcome home, dear child."
Is it stupid of me that I'm worrying about her cats?
|
|
|
Post by Shan on May 3, 2005 10:58:55 GMT -5
I just looked at Patti's profile and I firmly believe that she did get to hear, "Welcome home, dear child." Is it stupid of me that I'm worrying about her cats? We made arrangements for her cats, already. (((Becky))) for thinking about it.
|
|