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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Dec 5, 2003 8:06:42 GMT -5
This discussion shows that nobody here knows how to medicate their pets. I googled this to help you all.
HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL
1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "Thats a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.
2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.
3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.
4.Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)
5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well.
6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.
7. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a beer and a good cry.
8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and...Oooops!
9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos.
10. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor.
11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.
12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.
13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)
14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for neither man nor woman.
15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.
16. Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done.
17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).
18. Take two aspirins and lie down.
See? It's simple.
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Dec 5, 2003 8:11:06 GMT -5
Wait a tic...scientists on TV are pretty drool-worthy. All the CSI ladies are quite tasty. That brunette Medical Examiner on NBC or wherever is extremely attractive. Fred, Willow and Dawn (soon to be a scholar in the science of linguistics) are all beautiful. The world is teeming with science beauties. To put it another way, let me quote a world-renowned authority on women: "Smart chicks are so hot." RW science ladies are too. Two of my dearest friend are Ph.D. biophysicists as well as head-turning, gasp, clutch at your heart, every bit as stunning as their tv counterparts georgeous!
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Dec 5, 2003 8:12:20 GMT -5
Saw something funny in the local newspaper TV guide. Tonight on Spike TV there was a listing for "Spike's VGA Preshow." What does VGA stand for? Very Good Action? Visually Guided Agony? Any other ideas? Viagra Generated Action? Vasilene Guided...no, never mind.
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Post by Karen on Dec 5, 2003 8:41:36 GMT -5
Julia, Congrats on your [glow=green,2,300] ________________N! ______________O ____________I __________S ________N ______E ____C __S A[/glow][/size]
you prolific Master S'cubie, you! Long may you post and thrive! And I also stole this display in your honor.
Karen, who is really enjoying Julia's taglines and everybody else who has jumped on the bandwagon.
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Post by Nickim on Dec 5, 2003 8:55:22 GMT -5
Viagra Generated Action? Vasilene Guided...no, never mind. Diane got it!!
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Post by SpringSummers on Dec 5, 2003 8:56:39 GMT -5
Another hit and run for me today.
ROB: In case I never done this before, let me go ahead and join the crowd: "Will you marry me?"
CAT PEOPLE: I have never owned a cat, but my neighbor's cat likes to sleep on my car and leave his pawprints all over it. So I do have some of the fun.
LITTLESTVAMPIRE: I did notice your comments on The Initiative Spikecentricity thread, and have responded.
DIANE: Please keep your eye on everyone today. They got kinda wild yesterday and I can't hang around. I am hoping your calming, mature, decorous . . . oh heck. I can't even make myself finish that. Do your best.
Will check in later today . . . xxxxx-oooooo to all the S'cubies!
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Dec 5, 2003 9:05:57 GMT -5
Another hit and run for me today. ROB: In case I never done this before, let me go ahead and join the crowd: "Will you marry me?" CAT PEOPLE: I have never owned a cat, but my neighbor's cat likes to sleep on my car and leave his pawprints all over it. So I do have some of the fun. LITTLESTVAMPIRE: I did notice your comments on The Initiative Spikecentricity thread, and have responded. DIANE: Please keep your eye on everyone today. They got kinda wild yesterday and I can't hang around. I am hoping your calming, mature, decorous . . . oh heck. I can't even make myself finish that. Do your best. Will check in later today . . . xxxxx-oooooo to all the S'cubies! SPRING, forget it. I downloaded your latest analysis today and won't be around much because I'm going to be reading it. When I AM around I plan to join the party and may even encourage a little...ah...extra playfulness. Drop in when you can. Decorum? Leave it out in the RW where it belongs. ROB, I'm just in it for the fun. Will you NOT marry me?
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Post by Nickim on Dec 5, 2003 9:46:42 GMT -5
I'm leaving for the weekend. Try not to talk too much. The catching up on posts cuts into my nap time. ;D See ya'll later. {{S'cubies}}
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Post by Julia, wrought iron-y on Dec 5, 2003 9:49:27 GMT -5
So, Eliza's show might have taken a turn for the interesting this week. Unfortunately, it was in the last thirty seconds, so I'll have to watch next week to be sure. On the plus side, it was new as opposed to re-run. I was shutting down my side of this puter last night, heard Eliza's voice and turned around to watch, got three lines and went to bed. Darnit. If we cant have FaithTVS, at least we could have Eliza in something worthy of her. (sigh) Oh, well, a new Joan of Arcadia tonight- a show I thought sounded dimwitted, watched accidentally, and got entirely sucked into. Julia, on the other hand I have valiantly tried to get interested in Stargate and except for Daniel Jackson being there or not I just can't tell the episodes apart
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Post by Rachael on Dec 5, 2003 10:02:58 GMT -5
I was shutting down my side of this puter last night, heard Eliza's voice and turned around to watch, got three lines and went to bed. Darnit. If we cant have FaithTVS, at least we could have Eliza in something worthy of her. (sigh) Oh, well, a new Joan of Arcadia tonight- a show I thought sounded dimwitted, watched accidentally, and got entirely sucked into. Julia, on the other hand I have valiantly tried to get interested in Stargate and except for Daniel Jackson being there or not I just can't tell the episodes apart Ah, so Julia - you *have* power this morning. The Washington State power outage made the local news 'round here this morning. (As did the D.C. snowstorm. . . .)
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Post by Rachael on Dec 5, 2003 10:21:00 GMT -5
RW science ladies are too. Two of my dearest friend are Ph.D. biophysicists as well as head-turning, gasp, clutch at your heart, every bit as stunning as their tv counterparts georgeous! I think it has something to do with getting tired of being mousy little nerds for 18 years.
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Post by karalee on Dec 5, 2003 10:34:08 GMT -5
Good morning.
How is everyone doing today? I'm starving for a pizza right now and it's taking all my willpower not to cook one so early in the morning. I'll give myself two hours and then I'll eat one.
Well, I hope everyone has a great Friday.
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Post by Julia, wrought iron-y on Dec 5, 2003 10:48:14 GMT -5
Ah, so Julia - you *have* power this morning. The Wshington State power outage made the local news 'round here this morning. (As did the D.C. snowstorm. . . .) Mostly King County and north with power out; we've barely had wind here, although I'm wondering about a friend of mine who lives right where the Maple Valley cutoff and 90 meet. Supposed to be high winds here today and tonight, and not looking forward to that. Teenagers migrating car-ward having cogitus interruptus effect, again. Julia
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Post by Laura on Dec 5, 2003 11:06:57 GMT -5
This discussion shows that nobody here knows how to medicate their pets. I googled this to help you all. HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "Thats a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa. 3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger. 4.Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.) 5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well. 6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair. 7. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a beer and a good cry. 8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and...Oooops! 9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos. 10. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor. 11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant. 12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge. 13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.) 14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for neither man nor woman. 15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon. 16. Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done. 17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours). 18. Take two aspirins and lie down. See? It's simple. ROFL!
Diane, this is just PRICELESS! I didn't get past #2 before I was laughing so hard I could barely read to the end! You say you googled this?
Laura
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Post by Queen E on Dec 5, 2003 11:12:00 GMT -5
I wouldn't worry. She hasn't shown the least bit of interest in me since what's-his-name entered her life. *Rolls eyes* I mean really...all Josh can offer her is corporeality. In the end, what is that really? Let me tell you something, Hollins. After a while, two people have to find something else besides "corporealizing" to make a relationship work. And when that day comes - and it will - I will have moved on with someone who doesn't need cheap tricks like...physical contact and whatnot. Whenever I scratch my cyber-nails down some other lucky woman's back, I hope you feel it all the way down to your hard drive, Lee!!! When my strong fingers slide up and down until I find that "special spot" on the mouse pad, it won't be for you. Not any more. No, indeed. How about them Macintoshes? Huh!? Ok. I feel better now. Must...share the pain before I can feel better. Scary, Rob. I thought for a second you were channeling Alanis Morrisette! eg, who wonders (after all these proposals) if we're all going to end up on a commune in Utah with Rob
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