|
|
Post by deborah on Dec 10, 2003 11:20:27 GMT -5
Wow. Never been first before. Read "In Perfect Harmony" last night and found it to be perfectly wonderful. Spike, Harmony and Willie all rang true for me. The only twinge of characterization doubt I felt was Harmony complaining that she couldn't catch anyone to eat. Seems to me that even inexperienced Harmony, especially with the loss, to at least someextent, of human inhibitions, would be able to attract a guy close enough and long enough for her to bite. I'm quite sure that's how she formed her gang - she just sired them all ("Sire's pet"). Willie's deal with Harmony that she take Spike home and keep him there may have been a bit of a stretch but it sure got the job done. I particularly like the way you showed the beginning orgins of Spike's animosity toward Harmony, and her love for him. If he was her first (although unless her actual sire got dusted at the HS on graduation day I can't imagine that he didn't use her anyway he liked). Actually, come to think of it her sire must have gotten dusted before she rose, leaving her alone and clueless. It fits. If it happened that way then no wonder she'd tried to return home to try and get her mother to take her back in. And no wonder she loved her Blondie-Bear so much, when it was he who was her first lover and instructer in life after death. Anyway, I really enjoyed your story and what's more, I think lots of others would too. I recommend you submit it to All About Spike. deborah |
|
|
|
Post by SpringSummers on Dec 10, 2003 11:40:47 GMT -5
Wow. Never been first before. Read "In Perfect Harmony" last night and found it to be perfectly wonderful. Spike, Harmony and Willie all rang true for me. The only twinge of characterization doubt I felt was Harmony complaining that she couldn't catch anyone to eat. Seems to me that even inexperienced Harmony, especially with the loss, to at least someextent, of human inhibitions, would be able to attract a guy close enough and long enough for her to bite. I'm quite sure that's how she formed her gang - she just sired them all ("Sire's pet"). Willie's deal with Harmony that she take Spike home and keep him there may have been a bit of a stretch but it sure got the job done. I particularly like the way you showed the beginning orgins of Spike's animosity toward Harmony, and her love for him. If he was her first (although unless her actual sire got dusted at the HS on graduation day I can't imagine that he didn't use her anyway he liked). Actually, come to think of it her sire must have gotten dusted before she rose, leaving her alone and clueless. It fits. If it happened that way then no wonder she'd tried to return home to try and get her mother to take her back in. And no wonder she loved her Blondie-Bear so much, when it was he who was her first lover and instructer in life after death. Anyway, I really enjoyed your story and what's more, I think lots of others would too. I recommend you submit it to All About Spike. deborah Thanks so much for the feedback, deb. I know what you mean about Harmony having trouble catching a meal - she's young and strong and attractive, so I see where you are coming from. My thought was that even though she expresses it as "I can't catch them," the real problem is that she feels uncertain and confused and just plain scared. I was kinda picturing her lurking around, feeling hungry and not knowing what to do - i.e., she has all the tools she needs to catch a meal, but she just hadn't figured out how to go about it. I was picturing that Spike helps her get up a little more gumption and know-how, and then, off she goes to being able to handle it herself. I hadn't thought about it, but I do agree on how she eventually formed her gang. I tried to give Willie some reasonable motivation for coming up with the idea of talking Harmony into taking Spike home - and give Harmony some reasonable motivation for agreeing. It was a little weak, but I hope not too hard to swallow. Good catch on the sire thing. I did have in the back of my mind that Harmony's sire had either died at Graduation, or for some other reason, abandoned her. I even thought of making the abandoned vamp's lair belong to Harmony's sire, and of providing some explanation that killed off the sire before Harmony "came to" as a vampire. But then I thought I'd just leave "why Harmony is so alone" up to the reader's imagination, thinking going off on that tangent would distract from the main story too much. Also, good catch on the origins of the animosity on Spike's side, and the related "Blondie Bear" feelings on Harmony's side. I was definitely deliberately trying to go for a scenario that fit with what would develop in the future. I don't know about allaboutSpike . . . it makes me anxious to think of branching out. I'll go check it out. Do they do "links to a site," or insist on posting a story at their own site? If I can work it so this S3 site at least gets a link or a mention, I might try it. |
|
|
|
Post by deborah on Dec 10, 2003 12:15:30 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the feedback, deb. I know what you mean about Harmony having trouble catching a meal - she's young and strong and attractive, so I see where you are coming from. My thought was that even though she expresses it as "I can't catch them," the real problem is that she feels uncertain and confused and just plain scared. I was kinda picturing her lurking around, feeling hungry and not knowing what to do - i.e., she has all the tools she needs to catch a meal, but she just hadn't figured out how to go about it. I was picturing that Spike helps her get up a little more gumption and know-how, and then, off she goes to being able to handle it herself. I hadn't thought about it, but I do agree on how she eventually formed her gang. I tried to give Willie some reasonable motivation for coming up with the idea of talking Harmony into taking Spike home - and give Harmony some reasonable motivation for agreeing. It was a little weak, but I hope not too hard to swallow. Good catch on the sire thing. I did have in the back of my mind that Harmony's sire had either died at Graduation, or for some other reason, abandoned her. I even thought of making the abandoned vamp's lair belong to Harmony's sire, and of providing some explanation that killed off the sire before Harmony "came to" as a vampire. But then I thought I'd just leave "why Harmony is so alone" up to the reader's imagination, thinking going off on that tangent would distract from the main story too much. Also, good catch on the origins of the animosity on Spike's side, and the related "Blondie Bear" feelings on Harmony's side. I was definitely deliberately trying to go for a scenario that fit with what would develop in the future. I don't know about allaboutSpike . . . it makes me anxious to think of branching out. I'll go check it out. Do they do "links to a site," or insist on posting a story at their own site? If I can work it so this S3 site at least gets a link or a mention, I might try it. Ooh, I'd forgotton about that choice lair Harmony had, complete with a working toilet and shower, no less. I must modify my theory about her sire being dusted on Grad Day. He had to have survived long enough to bring Harmony back to his lair - no way could she have scoped that out herself. Perhaps he survived long enough to outfit it with some choice creature-comforts he thought would be to her liking. But then, two or three nights after he'd sired her, on his way back from the mall to his lair he fell victim to the Slayer, leaving Harmony to rise in safety, albeit complete ignorance. Re: Her gang - I remember one of them saying something supportive of her and another accusing the first guy of being "Sire's pet", so I figured they were all of her own making. I'd imagine Nan would be the best person to ask about the submission process to AAS. But they do let you include your website URL and Email address if you like along with your story. They also have a fanfic links section that is just an alphabetical listing of authors and their websites, but I don't see how that would do much to call attention to your story. The beauty of AAS is their format and cross referencing. All the new stories are highlighted on their main page as well as being indexed in the appropriate sections. They also have an Email update that goes out to their subscribers (such as myself) announcing the new stories that have been posted. All their stories are cross-referenced for easy look-up under Author, Title, Pairing, Length, Time Period - just to name those categories I can remember off the top of my head. Plus, they all display the author's summary so if you are browsing you can get an idea of whether the story is something you might want to read. I think you should get Nan to give you an intro to Laura (the site owner) and submit your story. I can't imagine she wouldn't like it. And there are authors there who commonly post 100 word drabble ficlets so length is certainly no issue. Stories they carry range from 100 words to novel length. Think about it, but I would love to see your story in (metaphorical) lights at AAS. deborah |
|
|
|
Post by SpringSummers on Dec 10, 2003 13:10:34 GMT -5
Ooh, I'd forgotton about that choice lair Harmony had, complete with a working toilet and shower, no less. I must modify my theory about her sire being dusted on Grad Day. He had to have survived long enough to bring Harmony back to his lair - no way could she have scoped that out herself. Perhaps he survived long enough to outfit it with some choice creature-comforts he thought would be to her liking. But then, two or three nights after he'd sired her, on his way back from the mall to his lair he fell victim to the Slayer, leaving Harmony to rise in safety, albeit complete ignorance. Re: Her gang - I remember one of them saying something supportive of her and another accusing the first guy of being "Sire's pet", so I figured they were all of her own making. I'd imagine Nan would be the best person to ask about the submission process to AAS. But they do let you include your website URL and Email address if you like along with your story. They also have a fanfic links section that is just an alphabetical listing of authors and their websites, but I don't see how that would do much to call attention to your story. The beauty of AAS is their format and cross referencing. All the new stories are highlighted on their main page as well as being indexed in the appropriate sections. They also have an Email update that goes out to their subscribers (such as myself) announcing the new stories that have been posted. All their stories are cross-referenced for easy look-up under Author, Title, Pairing, Length, Time Period - just to name those categories I can remember off the top of my head. Plus, they all display the author's summary so if you are browsing you can get an idea of whether the story is something you might want to read. I think you should get Nan to give you an intro to Laura (the site owner) and submit your story. I can't imagine she wouldn't like it. And there are authors there who commonly post 100 word drabble ficlets so length is certainly no issue. Stories they carry range from 100 words to novel length. Think about it, but I would love to see your story in (metaphorical) lights at AAS. deborah My idea is more along the lines that the sire already had the choice lair, having outfitted it over the years, maybe just for himself, or for various partners that had come and gone, etc. He brings a "not yet risen" Harmony back to the lair, then goes out to hunt - and he is dusted by Buffy. Harmony "comes to," and she has this nice place but no one to help her figure out what the heck is going on. She has an instinctual understanding that she's a vampire, and needs blood - but when she meets Spike she is still pretty unsure of herself and confused. I'll check out the "all about spike" site and see what I think. Thanks for mentioning it and for thinking that my story would be up to snuff. |
|
|
|
Post by deborah on Dec 10, 2003 13:16:13 GMT -5
My idea is more along the lines that the sire already had the choice lair, having outfitted it over the years, maybe just for himself, or for various partners that had come and gone, etc. He brings a "not yet risen" Harmony back to the lair, then goes out to hunt - and he is dusted by Buffy. Harmony "comes to," and she has this nice place but no one to help her figure out what the heck is going on. She has an instinctual understanding that she's a vampire, and needs blood - but when she meets Spike she is still pretty unsure of herself and confused. I'll check out the "all about spike" site and see what I think. Thanks for mentioning it and for thinking that my story would be up to snuff. I agree that the lair would already have been full of ammenities. When I said that he'd have shopped for things he thought she'd might like I was thinking more along the lines of extras; e.g., that pink, satin, foo-foo bed-spread. But it seems as though we're on the same page with her sire bringing her back to his choice lair and then getting dusted before she's risen. Let me know what happens w/ AAS. deborah |
|
|
|
Post by SpringSummers on Dec 10, 2003 14:18:31 GMT -5
I agree that the lair would already have been full of ammenities. When I said that he'd have shopped for things he thought she'd might like I was thinking more along the lines of extras; e.g., that pink, satin, foo-foo bed-spread. But it seems as though we're on the same page with her sire bringing her back to his choice lair and then getting dusted before she's risen. Let me know what happens w/ AAS. deborah I checked out the site. And first, let me say thanks again for taking the time to tell me you liked the story and to mention you thought it was worthy of wider distribution. On that website: I read the part about "how a story is chosen" and I was so irritated by this part, that I've decided the site is not for me: Stories that explicitly indicate that Spike needed a soul to be redeemed. The official policy of this site is that he didn't. Stories that leave this question ambiguous are fine. I know my story could easily pass this test, but - I can't explain it. Call me petty or whatever, but this left a bad taste in my mouth. Might as well have an official policy that Spike's hair is naturally blonde, too - that's how it hits me. It's her site and her right to put whatever restrictions she wants on things, so I'm not suggesting she should change this policy, which is basically: "You will present Spike and the Jossverse as *I* see them." There is nothing wrong with her having, and enforcing this policy. I don't blame her for not wanting to post stories that she finds truly offensive to her view of her favorite character. The site is really well done and well maintained. I'm just saying it is not for me. My entire style is trying to present the characters and their circumstances, to the best of my ability, as ME has presented them. And it is really my own peculiarity that the restriction mentioned above should bug me so much that I don't want to submit my fic there. But still - I just don't. |
|
|
|
Post by deborah on Dec 10, 2003 15:01:48 GMT -5
I checked out the site. And first, let me say thanks again for taking the time to tell me you liked the story and to mention you thought it was worthy of wider distribution. On that website: I read the part about "how a story is chosen" and I was so irritated by this part, that I've decided the site is not for me: Stories that explicitly indicate that Spike needed a soul to be redeemed. The official policy of this site is that he didn't. Stories that leave this question ambiguous are fine. I know my story could easily pass this test, but - I can't explain it. Call me petty or whatever, but this left a bad taste in my mouth. Might as well have an official policy that Spike's hair is naturally blonde, too - that's how it hits me. It's her site and her right to put whatever restrictions she wants on things, so I'm not suggesting she should change this policy, which is basically: "You will present Spike and the Jossverse as *I* see them." There is nothing wrong with her having, and enforcing this policy. I don't blame her for not wanting to post stories that she finds truly offensive to her view of her favorite character. The site is really well done and well maintained. I'm just saying it is not for me. My entire style is trying to present the characters and their circumstances, to the best of my ability, as ME has presented them. And it is really my own peculiarity that the restriction mentioned above should bug me so much that I don't want to submit my fic there. But still - I just don't. Oh. I wasn't even aware that this restriction existed because I'd never read that section before. I'm kind of surprised Laura even has that restriction. While I've read plenty of stories exploring souless Spike's efforts to navigate living *good* without benefit of a moral compass, in effect following the path he was already on before he got his soul, none of these stories has ever claimed that their Spike was "redeemed", so why even an issue? In any case, this is besides the point. It is what it is and it's not for me to question or belittle your principles. So, while I regret your decision I entirely respect it. deborah |
|
|
|
Post by Nickim on Dec 10, 2003 19:51:46 GMT -5
Great story, Spring. Makes me want to stake Harmony even more. Just my jealousy talking.  My only quibble would be that Holden Webster didn't have anyone to teach him how to be a vampire, and he seemed to understand instinctively how to be evil and hunt. Loved the "after" conversation--poor Spike, first crazy Dru, then Harmony talking all the time, then in love with a Slayer, no wonder he went nuts in Crush. |
|
|
|
Post by SpringSummers on Dec 10, 2003 21:34:30 GMT -5
Great story, Spring. Makes me want to stake Harmony even more. Just my jealousy talking. My only quibble would be that Holden Webster didn't have anyone to teach him how to be a vampire, and he seemed to understand instinctively how to be evil and hunt. Loved the "after" conversation--poor Spike, first crazy Dru, then Harmony talking all the time, then in love with a Slayer, no wonder he went nuts in Crush. Thanks for the feedback, Nicki. Glad you liked the story and that you enjoyed the "after" conversation. I had fun writing that part. It was silly, but it sounded to my ears like how it might go between them. I do agree that Holden seemed fine even though he was a new vampire - but each vamp seems to have an individual reaction to being newly vamped, to some extent, at least from what we've seen. And it seems to be related to their former human personality (notice how William goes to give his mother the good news and "help her" while Liam goes to destroy his family). We don't see Holden before vamping, but given his manner and what he says about his life, I'm guessing he was a much different type - definitely older, and seemingly more confident, more sensible - than Harmony when she was vamped. And Harmony is an odd vampire anyhow - crying that being a vampire sucks (while Holden really seemed to love it), and retaining a lot of her humanity. So that was my thinking - along with remembering her "fight" with Xander (such a funny scene) - when I wrote "newly vamped" Harmony the way I did. Anyhow, mostly, I just wanted to say thanks for the feedback. I am not so confident and sure of myself with the fan fic as I am with the analyses. So it helps to hear that my effort was enjoyed. |
|
|
|
Post by LadyDi on Dec 10, 2003 22:37:03 GMT -5
I've seen it suggested before that Spike was Harmony's first time (maybe by you, Spring?), but I hadn't considered the idea that he was also a substitute sire for her. Certainly puts a new complexion on the issues btwn them. Goes a long way towards explaining the depth of her feelings for Spike (not that he isn't worth it).
|
|
|
|
Post by Rob on Dec 15, 2003 12:03:39 GMT -5
Spring, this little story was very nice. I actually felt a bit of sympathy for Harm here, and generally I don't care about her one way or the other.
I laughed a lot while reading this, and learned to like Harmony a bit better also. Nicely done.
|
|
|
|
Post by SpringSummers on Dec 15, 2003 13:12:50 GMT -5
Spring, this little story was very nice. I actually felt a bit of sympathy for Harm here, and generally I don't care about her one way or the other. I laughed a lot while reading this, and learned to like Harmony a bit better also. Nicely done. Thanks for the feedback, Rob. It is nice to hear that it made you laugh - as I'm sure you know from your own writing, you can crack yourself up writing something, but humor is such a tricky thing - it's probably the one thing I get most insecure about when it comes to whether or not it will "come off" as it is meant to. When it comes to Harmony, I think her funniest scenes are with your favorite, Xander. The way they have that "girly" fight - and then in Season 5, the way he taunts her at Buffy's door, etc. Nick & Mercedes were really good together with the funny. I do have sympathy for Harmony. I mean, when you think about it, she had her life and dreams completely cut short, and she's so young and we see her crying about how she hates being a vampire, and she's so crazy about Spike, but she can't MAKE him love her, etc. She tries to act all snooty, but underneath, she is just strikes me as a sad, confused, insecure and lonely young girl - both before and after the vamping. I liked the way she found some gumption and even "had minions" in Season 5. |
|
mapomi
S'cubie
If you don't like it, paint it black!
Posts: 92
|
Post by mapomi on Jan 26, 2006 19:44:04 GMT -5
For me your fanfic is really brilliant. I like how you write and your sense of humor. In this one concretely I'm delight of all the imagination you use. It’s something that I could have never thought about: Spike/Harmony first meeting and new relationship. I have never thought at what might have happened to bring those two together, truly. I just took it as it was from the show and never thought about it anymore. Most people in their fanfics seem to want to talk about big issues and such important moments on the show (under my experience) and for once is really nice and refreshing to read about stuff that is completely new for you. But it’s not just that the story is about a subject new for me, but you helped me to understand a little more what made her be so dependent on Spike and the way their relationship went. Personally I don’t like Harmony’s character much, but you make me able to understand how she felt here and it makes me feel pity for her, to be alone and helpless… Do you think it’s too late to ask Spike to came and help me with my ‘being alone and helpless’ too? I know Spain is a shinny country and so but… I can handle to not move from my bedroom in a long time if he is inside with me. Thank you so much for the story. I love it! Mapomi. |
|
|
|
Post by SpringSummers on Jan 26, 2006 20:48:43 GMT -5
For me your fanfic is really brilliant. I like how you write and your sense of humor. In this one concretely I'm delight of all the imagination you use. It’s something that I could have never thought about: Spike/Harmony first meeting and new relationship. I have never thought at what might have happened to bring those two together, truly. I just took it as it was from the show and never thought about it anymore. Most people in their fanfics seem to want to talk about big issues and such important moments on the show (under my experience) and for once is really nice and refreshing to read about stuff that is completely new for you. But it’s not just that the story is about a subject new for me, but you helped me to understand a little more what made her be so dependent on Spike and the way their relationship went. Personally I don’t like Harmony’s character much, but you make me able to understand how she felt here and it makes me feel pity for her, to be alone and helpless… Do you think it’s too late to ask Spike to came and help me with my ‘being alone and helpless’ too? I know Spain is a shinny country and so but… I can handle to not move from my bedroom in a long time if he is inside with me. Thank you so much for the story. I love it! Mapomi. Thanks, Mapomi. Yes - if Spike was in my bedroom, I would stay indoors for at least a week.  |
|
