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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Feb 17, 2004 9:16:51 GMT -5
Welcome once again to the NERD ALERT! for all you Andrews who like to play imagination games.
Since the announcement that Angel will be no more has left us bummed out to the max, today I shall propose a little stress relief
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A GAME OF IMAGINATION ONLY AND NOT INTENDED TO ADVOCATE REAL LIFE VIOLENCE AGAINST ANY PERSON OR GROUP.
That said, today's assignment is to dream up suitable punishments for the individual or individuals who was short-sighted and/or stupid enough to propose assassinating the single best television show currently on the air.
You may be as gory and wicked as you like, if that's what you need to vent your feelings; but preferred punishments will be of a nature suitable to the offense.
Remember, spelling and grammar don't count but imagination, wit and humor do!
Diane * "My object all sublime I will achieve in time To let the punishment fit the crime The punishment fit the crime.
And make each prisoner vent Unwillingly represent a source of innocent merriment of innocent merriment."
--W.S. Gilbert The Mikado
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Feb 17, 2004 9:25:33 GMT -5
My own take on the crime is that all executives on the WB will stand trial. Upon being found guilty, they will have to pay all court costs, all attorney's fees and all expenses for reinstating Angel from their own pockets.
Further:
1. All WB studio executives found guilty of the crime of cancelling Angel will be strapped to comfy chairs and forced to watch round the clock, endless runs of "Barney" and "Teletubbies" intermixed with the vilest bunch of commercials that can be found in the archives.
2. Said studio executives will have all THEIR favorite shows, or their children's, mother's, father's or sibling's favorite shows cancelled without mercy. (Let THEM listen to their families cry!)
3. All WB studio executives found guilty will become permanent contestants on "Fear Factor" without prizes.
4. All WB studio executives found guilty will pay damages to every Angel fan who has suffered emotional harm due to the loss of the show and pay all costs for needed therapy.
Further penalties will be imposed when I think of them.
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Post by Julia, wrought iron-y on Feb 17, 2004 16:27:00 GMT -5
I'll still go with my standard: take all the Suits, in their suits, and bury them up to their necks in the manure pile so that they'll be better able to recognize sh*t when they see it.
Julia, and maybe then WE won't be seeing so much of it on the air
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Post by LadyDi on Feb 18, 2004 0:32:24 GMT -5
There might be (boiling) oil involved. I'm thinking harassment: itching powder, telemarketers, spam - the whole enchilada! Make 'em beg.
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Post by Lola m on Feb 18, 2004 12:59:37 GMT -5
What's the ultimate revenge for TV network execs? Have Angel go to another network, become a booming success, make tons of money. Become so much of a success story that the WB fires them for messing up and they continue in a bleak downward career spiral. Forever haunted at each new job interview with the words, "So you were the guy that cancelled Angel?" - swiftly followed by "Hmmmmm. I don't think we have anything here for you."
They'll be old guys someday, rocking and muttering and thinking "oh, my life wouldn't have been the pathetic mess it was, if I just hadn't dropped Angel back in aught four!". ;D
Lola
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Post by SpringSummers on Feb 18, 2004 16:47:38 GMT -5
I say we take a cue from that gypsy tribe and get vengeance on those WB execs by returning their (apparently completely lacking) souls and brains to them!!
Just think of the years of torment and guilt they will suffer when they realize how cruel and stupid they have been! There will be the living-in-alleys, the rat-eating, the listening-to-Barry-Manilow . . .
And OF COURSE, there would be the no-sex on penalty of losing your soul and brains (their tremendous guilt would, of course, mean that they would have to stay celibate).
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Post by Karen on Feb 18, 2004 17:31:16 GMT -5
In punishment for being found guilty of stupidity3, the WB executives responsible for the unexpected cancellation of "Angel" shall forever:
1. Be cursed with flatulence, bad breath, suppurative boils, and rotten teeth.
2. Be forced to wear short pants and white socks
3. Be cursed to deliver mail in a large corporation full of backstabbing demons and evil lawyers.
Or - be hanged by their balls over a pit of *insert their worst nightmare here*.
Their choice.
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Post by Queen E on Feb 19, 2004 13:02:59 GMT -5
For the crime of turning Whedon and Co into puppets only to rip them to shreds, I sentence you to live your life as a Cabbage Patch doll.
Sorry, that's all I could come up with.
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Post by Anne, Old S'cubie Cat on Feb 20, 2004 11:48:15 GMT -5
Eternal IRS audits, rashes and boils, and mold in their expensive homes for all WB execs involved with the cancellation of Angel. Oh, yes, and I'm sending the Brea Hellmouth ants their way.
The Flying Hamster of Doom will rain coconuts upon them all. (Sorry, I found this lovely postcard, which I will not waste on the likes of the WB.)
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Post by Anne, Old S'cubie Cat on Feb 20, 2004 11:48:43 GMT -5
For the crime of turning Whedon and Co into puppets only to rip them to shreds, I sentence you to live your life as a Cabbage Patch doll. Sorry, that's all I could come up with. That's... that's just evil. Brrrrr.
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Post by Becky H on Feb 20, 2004 12:14:19 GMT -5
In punishment for being found guilty of stupidity 3, the WB executives responsible for the unexpected cancellation of "Angel" shall forever: 1. Be cursed with flatulence, bad breath, suppurative boils, and rotten teeth. 2. Be forced to wear short pants and white socks 3. Be cursed to deliver mail in a large corporation full of backstabbing demons and evil lawyers. Or - be hanged by their balls over a pit of *insert their worst nightmare here*. Their choice. I second this but I suggest that they be forced to short pants and black socks, preferably Ban-lon.
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