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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Mar 2, 2004 8:32:46 GMT -5
Welcome Scubies to the latest addition of the NerdAlert! An entertaining challenge for all you Andrews out there to while away the hours until the newest episode.
Now that we have all had a chance to recover a little from the double devastating news, we must proceed in finding ways to help our heroes.
The sites supporting Angel are wonderful. The action taken by the Scubies to make the networks pay attention to this beloved show and the media attention paid to the fans of Angel give me hope.
Still, as my mother said, it's always wise to be prepared for the worst. Our heroes may soon be unemployed. Jobless. Out of Work. Who will hire a 240 year old vampire with a soul? What kind of work can an ex-Rogue Demon Hunter do? How would a brain-boosted muscle guy write a resume? They need our help and there's no time like the present.
Thus your assignment, my friends is to write a Want Ad and/or Resume for one (or more, if you're feeling creative) of the Fang Gang. Be sure to list their strengths, education (wing it, if you're unsure) and also their limitations (daytime delivery would so NOT suit Spike.) If you're up to it, name the paper in which it would appear, or publish one for them.
Get out your quills and word processors. Our guys may be needing work! As usual, to get things started, my effort is here to break the ice.
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Mar 2, 2004 8:42:12 GMT -5
Seen in the Las Vegas Times:
Situation Wanted
Friendly, handsome, multi-talented, adaptable male seeks club work. Will Sing, dance, or Emcee. Can run lights and/or sound. Has extensive nightclub management experience. Pleasant demeanor. Willing to work security. Flexible Hours, no babysitting. Answer ad #49226783A, Lorne.
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Post by raenstorm on Mar 2, 2004 9:15:13 GMT -5
Appearing in all major L.A. papers...
Desparately Seeking Secretary:
Fun, personable, cheery, well-dressed admin assistant seeks a handsome, broody boss to assistant during the nights. Want to bring a little Harmony into your life? Call 818-666-5867
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Post by SpringSummers on Mar 2, 2004 9:35:46 GMT -5
Harmony Kendall, PO Box 666, Los Angeles, CA OBJECTIVE: Good paying job where I can wear hot clothes, sexy shoes, and see a lot of hot guys. Also, I want everyone to pay attention to my brain and ideas, for once! EDUCATION: HS graduate, Sunnydale HS, Sunnydale California. Verification and documentation unavailable on account of Sunnydale got sucked into the Hellmouth (sorry!). Would have gone on to college, but I was killed at HS graduation. EXPERIENCE: 2003 - Present: Promoted at Wolfram & Hart. Became Assistant to the CEO. Answer phones and keep very grumpy boss happy so he won't kill me. 2002 - 2003: Gave up evil (kind of, mostly, sorta) and joined typing pool at Wolfram & Hart. 2001 - 2002: Lived in LA after bad break-up with former mentor, Mr William The Bloody. Spent time finding myself by killing others for their blood, shopping, general evil-doing. 2000 -2001: Bad break-up with Mr Bloody. Made it on my own - had minions, and headed up ambitious project in Sunnydale. Ended project when minions all died. Resumed serving as special protege to Mr Bloody. 1999 - 2000: Became very special protege to William The Bloody (aka Spike, Scourge of Europe, Slayer of Two Slayers). SKILLS: Familiar with: [/li][li] MicroSoft Office [/li][li] Arranging meetings, conferences, or sacrifices [/li][li] Using super-strength as a trained fighter HOBBIES: Shoes, experimenting with exotic blood recipes, shoes, unicorn collecting, shoes. |
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Post by SpringSummers on Mar 2, 2004 14:15:45 GMT -5
PERSONAL AD in L.A. papers:
SWMV (w/soul), seeks SF to provide blood, clothing (optional) and shelter. Have hot, tight little body and am very handy. Will cheerfully meet all indoor household needs. Excellent references available. Call Spike after 7pm: 555-BITE.
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Mar 3, 2004 7:06:30 GMT -5
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Post by raenstorm on Mar 3, 2004 8:10:41 GMT -5
[/img] [/quote] Hey now... mine sounds like a personal ad but its for work (ok, that sounded bad). It's just how I picture Harm doing something " different" to try and get work. Though, for the record, I like Spring's post for Harm better. |
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Post by SpringSummers on Mar 3, 2004 8:50:01 GMT -5
[/img] [/quote] You sure are picky. OK - Revision below: POSITION WANTED AD in L.A. papers: Attractive single male vampire (w/soul), seeks job with single female employer. Have hot, tight little body and am very handy. Will cheerfully do all indoor household chores in exchange for blood, clothing (optional) and shelter. Excellent references available. Call Spike after 7pm: 555-BITE. |
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Post by SpringSummers on Mar 3, 2004 9:35:12 GMT -5
William T. Bloody, PO Box 314, Los Angeles, CA OBJECTIVE: Job where I can be my own boss, doing hero-stuff. Need good pay, and prefer those little marshmallows in my cuppa, if you got 'em. EDUCATION: I’m British, you git. EXPERIENCE: 2003 – Present: Freelance do-gooding for Wolfram & Hart, Los Angeles. 2002 - 2003: Freelance do-gooding for Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Sunnydale, CA. Ended when I burned to a crisp, and Sunnydale was obliterated. NOTE: Saved the world in May, 2003. 2001 - 2002: Provided variety of services to Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Sunnydale, CA. Consistently “got the job done,” per Buffy. NOTE: Was awarded my soul in May 2002. 2000 -2001: Played both sides of the fence, skillfully working for Good and Evil, at the same time, in Sunnydale, CA. Demon-fighting while helping Cyborg Adam take over the world. Had a chip in my head that caused pain if I tried to hurt humans, and a bloke’s gotta have a hobby, don’t he? Ended when I realized I was in love with Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. 1880 - 2000: Became a vampire and very special protege to Drusilla, The Black Goddess. Excelled at murder, mayhem, and slayer-slaying. Ended when the crazy, ungrateful bitch left me for a Chaos demon, then a Fungus demon! Have you ever seen a Chaos demon? 1870-1880: Promising poet and dutiful son to my mummy after finishing my schooling. Ended when I died, became a vampire, killed and turned Mummy, then had to dust her when she tried to shag me. HOBBIES: Death, Glory – sod all else |
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Mar 3, 2004 13:22:23 GMT -5
You sure are picky. OK - Revision below: POSITION WANTED AD in L.A. papers: Attractive single male vampire (w/soul), seeks job with single female employer. Have hot, tight little body and am very handy. Will cheerfully do all indoor household chores in exchange for blood, clothing (optional) and shelter. Excellent references available. Call Spike after 7pm: 555-BITE. Of course I'm picky. It's my NerdAlert! BTW: I love the revision |
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