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Post by Lola m on Dec 1, 2009 21:55:50 GMT -5
Oh! Something that just popped into my head was the Smile Time skit that Jan and Rich did during the last S'cubiefest. That was awesome. I think there are pictures in the photo album. OMG yes! And the hats she made for that! So totally perfectly perfect!
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Post by Wendy on Dec 2, 2009 1:57:52 GMT -5
To Rich and all the S'cubies...
I am so saddened to hear of Jan's passing. She was an amazing lady. She led a fascinating life and I feel honored to have known her.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
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Post by Karen on Dec 2, 2009 10:49:42 GMT -5
To Rich and all the S'cubies... I am so saddened to hear of Jan's passing. She was an amazing lady. She led a fascinating life and I feel honored to have known her. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Thank you, Wendy. Jan was such a wonderful S'cubie. I am going to miss her so much. Hope all is well with you, sweetie.
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Post by rich on Dec 3, 2009 13:45:55 GMT -5
I've updated Jan's obituary with a new date and time for the memorial service:
Friday, December 11 at 11:00 AM.
Right now I'm scrambling to deal with the changes in Jan's funeral arrangements. More on the Jan and Rich saga when I can catch a moment.
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Post by rich on Dec 3, 2009 22:02:37 GMT -5
So Jan became a regular player with Actor’s Attic. One night, a couple of years later we had cast party where I got very, very drunk. Jan was dismayed that my friends were going to let me drive home in that condition. (My friends weren’t necessarily uncaring, just a little too heavily self-medicating, as was I at the time.)
Anyway Jan drove me to her place and let me sleep over on her couch. After that, I realized she was someone who really, truly cared about me. I began to pursue Jan romantically. Thus began the next ten years of our relationship. It was on again, off again, sometimes lovers, sometimes friends, but we always managed to stay in each others lives.
In 1988, we moved to Vermont.
In 1996 Jan and I bought a house together (which we still own). We supported ourselves by working as consultants.
We lived and worked in that house until 2000 when Jan became an Oblate of The Convent of St. Mary in Peekskill, NY. For many years Jan had been immersing herself in spiritual studies and becoming an associate of a convent; a lay worker sharing the life of the sisters, (for that is what an Oblate is) seemed to her like the logical next step on her path. Over this period, we continued to stay in touch, me visiting her once a month.
Jan was studying to be a spiritual counselor in Pecos, New Mexico when her mother, Ruth, passed away. Jan collapsed and could not drive home by herself.
So I flew out to Pecos and drove Jan back to Owensboro, KY for her mother’s funeral. Then, after several days of driving all over town settling her mother’s affairs, I drove Jan back to the convent.
It was during this long drive that we began to talk about getting married. What a couple of mad, impetuous kids eh? Only together 18 years and we jump right to tying the knot.
Anyway we got married in 2003 and the last six years have been the best of our lives. We laughed every day. We made each other very happy.
And now it’s done. What a long strange trip it's been. I sure do miss her. I never cared before about an afterlife, but now I really hope I see her again.
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Post by Spaced Out Looney on Dec 3, 2009 22:07:46 GMT -5
So Jan became a regular player with Actor’s Attic. One night, a couple of years later we had cast party where I got very, very drunk. Jan was dismayed that my friends were going to let me drive home in that condition. (My friends weren’t necessarily uncaring, just a little too heavily self-medicating, as was I at the time.) Anyway Jan drove me to her place and let me sleep over on her couch. After that, I realized she was someone who really, truly cared about me. I began to pursue Jan romantically. Thus began the next ten years of our relationship. It was on again, off again, sometimes lovers, sometimes friends, but we always managed to stay in each others lives. In 1988, we moved to Vermont. In 1996 Jan and I bought a house together We lived there until 2000 when Jan became an Oblate of The Convent of St. Mary in Peekskill, NY. For many years Jan had been immersing herself in spiritual studies and becoming an associate of a convent; a lay worker sharing the life of the sisters, (for that is what an Oblate is) seemed to her like the logical next step on her path. Over this period, we continued to stay in touch, me visiting her once a month. Jan was studying to be a spiritual counselor in Pecos, New Mexico when her mother, Ruth, passed away. Jan had a collapse and could not drive home by herself. So I flew out to Pecos and drove Jan back to Owensboro, KY for her mother’s funeral. After several days of driving all over town settling her mother’s affairs, I drove Jan back to the convent. It was during this long drive that we began to think and speak about getting married. What a couple of mad, impetuous kids eh? Only together 18 years and we jump right to tying the knot. Anyway we got married in 2003 and the last six years have been the best of our lives. We laughed every day. We made each other very happy. And now it’s done. I sure do miss her. I never cared before about an afterlife, but now I hope I see her again. Aww...that was a lovely story. Thanks so much for sharing.
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Post by Wendy on Dec 4, 2009 2:18:01 GMT -5
So Jan became a regular player with Actor’s Attic. One night, a couple of years later we had cast party where I got very, very drunk. Jan was dismayed that my friends were going to let me drive home in that condition. (My friends weren’t necessarily uncaring, just a little too heavily self-medicating, as was I at the time.) Anyway Jan drove me to her place and let me sleep over on her couch. After that, I realized she was someone who really, truly cared about me. I began to pursue Jan romantically. Thus began the next ten years of our relationship. It was on again, off again, sometimes lovers, sometimes friends, but we always managed to stay in each others lives. In 1988, we moved to Vermont. In 1996 Jan and I bought a house together (which we still own). We supported ourselves by working as consultants. We lived and worked in that house until 2000 when Jan became an Oblate of The Convent of St. Mary in Peekskill, NY. For many years Jan had been immersing herself in spiritual studies and becoming an associate of a convent; a lay worker sharing the life of the sisters, (for that is what an Oblate is) seemed to her like the logical next step on her path. Over this period, we continued to stay in touch, me visiting her once a month. Jan was studying to be a spiritual counselor in Pecos, New Mexico when her mother, Ruth, passed away. Jan collapsed and could not drive home by herself. So I flew out to Pecos and drove Jan back to Owensboro, KY for her mother’s funeral. After several days of driving all over town settling her mother’s affairs, I drove Jan back to the convent. It was during this long drive that we began to talk about getting married. What a couple of mad, impetuous kids eh? Only together 18 years and we jump right to tying the knot. Anyway we got married in 2003 and the last six years have been the best of our lives. We laughed every day. We made each other very happy. And now it’s done. What a long strange trip it's been. I sure do miss her. I never cared before about an afterlife, but now I really hope I see her again. What a beautiful story, Rich. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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Post by Michelle on Dec 4, 2009 10:30:39 GMT -5
Rich, you could write a book about the story of your love affair. Thanks for sharing!
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Post by SpringSummers on Dec 5, 2009 10:42:34 GMT -5
So Jan became a regular player with Actor’s Attic. One night, a couple of years later we had cast party where I got very, very drunk. Jan was dismayed that my friends were going to let me drive home in that condition. (My friends weren’t necessarily uncaring, just a little too heavily self-medicating, as was I at the time.) Anyway Jan drove me to her place and let me sleep over on her couch. After that, I realized she was someone who really, truly cared about me. I began to pursue Jan romantically. Thus began the next ten years of our relationship. It was on again, off again, sometimes lovers, sometimes friends, but we always managed to stay in each others lives. In 1988, we moved to Vermont. In 1996 Jan and I bought a house together (which we still own). We supported ourselves by working as consultants. We lived and worked in that house until 2000 when Jan became an Oblate of The Convent of St. Mary in Peekskill, NY. For many years Jan had been immersing herself in spiritual studies and becoming an associate of a convent; a lay worker sharing the life of the sisters, (for that is what an Oblate is) seemed to her like the logical next step on her path. Over this period, we continued to stay in touch, me visiting her once a month. Jan was studying to be a spiritual counselor in Pecos, New Mexico when her mother, Ruth, passed away. Jan collapsed and could not drive home by herself. So I flew out to Pecos and drove Jan back to Owensboro, KY for her mother’s funeral. After several days of driving all over town settling her mother’s affairs, I drove Jan back to the convent. It was during this long drive that we began to talk about getting married. What a couple of mad, impetuous kids eh? Only together 18 years and we jump right to tying the knot. Anyway we got married in 2003 and the last six years have been the best of our lives. We laughed every day. We made each other very happy. And now it’s done. What a long strange trip it's been. I sure do miss her. I never cared before about an afterlife, but now I really hope I see her again. What a great story. And yes, I know what you mean about the afterlife. I mentioned to Jan, during our visit, how major grief always makes me turn to physics . . . reading about the nature of the universe . . . time, consciousness, etc . It all leaves me with a sense of wonder that allows me then, to find comfort in the uncertainity of it all. And it fills me with faith, too - faith that though there is so much I don't know, and can't know, there is also something greater than I can even begin imagine, out there. Physics and science can't, and aren't meant to, give you all the answers, especially not in the face of death. But science is the very best vehicle to transport you to the wonderous edge, where you can look out, understand that you have no control and aren't meant to have control. You're just meant to be. And you can relax. You can let yourself feel the joy of existence, and you can let go. It still hurts almost unbearably to lose those you love, but I've found that developing a deep understanding and acceptance of both the transitory nature of our lives on Earth, and of the unknowable magnificence of our Universe, together, brings the best comfort. I don't know what comes after life. But I can feel this: Whether my individual consciousness continues in some unknowable way, or not . . . it's going to be whatever it's meant to be. And if the manifestations in my world are any clue (and what other clues are there?), it's gonna be good - very, very, very good. Love endures.
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Post by leftylady on Dec 5, 2009 16:33:45 GMT -5
So Jan became a regular player with Actor’s Attic. One night, a couple of years later we had cast party where I got very, very drunk. Jan was dismayed that my friends were going to let me drive home in that condition. (My friends weren’t necessarily uncaring, just a little too heavily self-medicating, as was I at the time.) Anyway Jan drove me to her place and let me sleep over on her couch. After that, I realized she was someone who really, truly cared about me. I began to pursue Jan romantically. Thus began the next ten years of our relationship. It was on again, off again, sometimes lovers, sometimes friends, but we always managed to stay in each others lives. In 1988, we moved to Vermont. In 1996 Jan and I bought a house together (which we still own). We supported ourselves by working as consultants. We lived and worked in that house until 2000 when Jan became an Oblate of The Convent of St. Mary in Peekskill, NY. For many years Jan had been immersing herself in spiritual studies and becoming an associate of a convent; a lay worker sharing the life of the sisters, (for that is what an Oblate is) seemed to her like the logical next step on her path. Over this period, we continued to stay in touch, me visiting her once a month. Jan was studying to be a spiritual counselor in Pecos, New Mexico when her mother, Ruth, passed away. Jan collapsed and could not drive home by herself. So I flew out to Pecos and drove Jan back to Owensboro, KY for her mother’s funeral. After several days of driving all over town settling her mother’s affairs, I drove Jan back to the convent. It was during this long drive that we began to talk about getting married. What a couple of mad, impetuous kids eh? Only together 18 years and we jump right to tying the knot. Anyway we got married in 2003 and the last six years have been the best of our lives. We laughed every day. We made each other very happy. And now it’s done. What a long strange trip it's been. I sure do miss her. I never cared before about an afterlife, but now I really hope I see her again. What a great story. And yes, I know what you mean about the afterlife. I mentioned to Jan, during our visit, how major grief always makes me turn to physics . . . reading about the nature of the universe . . . time, consciousness, etc . It all leaves me with a sense of wonder that allows me then, to find comfort in the uncertainity of it all. And it fills me with faith, too - faith that though there is so much I don't know, and can't know, there is also something greater than I can even begin imagine, out there. Physics and science can't, and aren't meant to, give you all the answers, especially not in the face of death. But science is the very best vehicle to transport you to the wonderous edge, where you can look out, understand that you have no control and aren't meant to have control. You're just meant to be. And you can relax. You can let yourself feel the joy of existence, and you can let go. It still hurts almost unbearably to lose those you love, but I've found that developing a deep understanding and acceptance of both the transitory nature of our lives on Earth, and of the unknowable magnificence of our Universe, together, brings the best comfort. I don't know what comes after life. But I can feel this: Whether my individual consciousness continues in some unknowable way, or not . . . it's going to be whatever it's meant to be. And if the manifestations in my world are any clue (and what other clues are there?), it's gonna be good - very, very, very good. Love endures. Rich, that was a beautiful love story. My heart goes out to you in your loss. And, Spring, what a lovely and hopeful way to view life - for your too. leftylady
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Post by Julia, wrought iron-y on Dec 5, 2009 18:35:26 GMT -5
rich, thank you for that wonderful story.
I'll miss her terribly, and I was a tiny part of her life;your loss is so much greather, although I hope what you had with her has made you strong and filled with remembered joy.
Julia, words are so inadequate.
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Post by Vlad on Dec 6, 2009 15:16:23 GMT -5
Dear Rich,
I am so very sorry for your loss. Jan has meant so much to so many people at the S3 that it would be impossible to begin to recount. She was a wonderful woman with a rich life history that is an inspiration to us all.
Everyone is a dreamer deep down inside and some find that they have to hold those dreams deeper than others. The people here have discovered a safe place to speak from their hearts. I think that is one of the things that has knitted together the community here at the S3 : the audacity to dream.
Jan had that. Her life history, both what you recounted in the obituary and what we have gleaned over the many years of knowing and talking to her, shows how many directions a life can go, picking up pieces of wisdom, of joy and of serenity. She led a full life and was ever so willing to share every thing she had learned or discovered with others, always trying to make their path that much easier.
I think I speak for every member on the board when I say that she will be sorely missed for her wisdom, her laughter and, most of all, for her deep love of us all.
Take care Rich and know that you will always have a home here amongst us, a place of peace and a place that loved Jan probably only second to you.
Mitchel
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Post by Lola m on Dec 6, 2009 20:52:25 GMT -5
Beautiful story, Rich. Thank you so much for sharing it.
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Post by Anne, Old S'cubie Cat on Dec 6, 2009 21:55:05 GMT -5
Rich, your story is beautiful, and I thank you for sharing it with us.
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Post by Sharky on Dec 9, 2009 16:46:47 GMT -5
There are times, believe it or not, when I'm speechless.
I know my limitations, and being serious is one of them. Jan was so appreciative of my warped sense of humor, even when it missed the mark.
She was a special lady. I knew that, but the words in this thread reinforce how special she was.
My thoughts and prayers, so very belatedly, to Rich and all who loved her.
I hope in the next life I have a chance to do what I couldn't in this one, visit with Jan face to face for a good long time.
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