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Post by Lola m on Nov 17, 2004 12:11:45 GMT -5
Ooooh, this was so worth the wait, even though I know it wasn't fun for you. Loved the Angel and Lilah and Spike snarking. Funny, and then grrrrrrrr when she pokes, pokes, pokes at Spike’s hot button issues. Dawn with a gun was very effective and scary. I liked how you had us see her not only through Dawn actions (behavior, voice, etc.) but through the reactions of people around her. And I liked how you get us to understand that Lilah is still scary too. (Which is a god thing to remind us considering how the chapter ends! ) Telling the guards to leave and then, when they won’t, getting them to scurry with just one “NOW”. Plus the lovely subtle threat of a rising sun. The scenes with Willow and Xander and Buffy were so great – bantering, but with a bittersweet edge – moments of awkwardness and knowing each other too well – knowing how to take care of each other and how to hurt each other. They’re all so on edge with the current danger that the others are facing as well as the issues around Willow’s pregnancy and Xander’s health. “I’m out of things to hit.” “I promise I’ll shake it off. Ha, ha. Get it? Shake?” “I’m going on the Net.” They each have their own means of dealing with things, of escaping from things, don’t they? But then, big points to Buffy for actually stepping outside all their usual avoidance and really trying to talk to Xander. Lilah’s news about who is behind all this? Can I just say “eeeeep” right now! Sounds like the side opposite TPTB (or are TPTB not that high up, I can never remember . . . )? The bits about the dinosaurs and how we are apparently living in a time when the bad guys won a very long time ago and now it’s happening again and then the final bits with imortal vamps and the Earth trapped and unable to get outside help? Very dramatic and cool. I keep wondering how you are gonna top the big bad from the last story and you keep doing it. (Just like Joss!!) Plus, thinking about what Lilah was talking about makes me really wonder how Willow’s comment that “this world isn’t the one I’ll take it out on” is going to fit into the grand scheme. But really, it’s the final bits with Lilah that hold the most plotty interest. Dru and the girls and the rings and the true immortality and the fact that Lilah knows about the events to happen tomorrow and . . . . well. I’m trying to figure out what is/are going to be the crucial deciding factors for the finale and there are so many possibilities. I’m torn between: the fact that Lilah’s Gatekeeper “clients” don’t know about her extra-curricular activities; the big event at the stadium; the unexpected issue with Dru and her merry band; the usual big bag mistake of underestimating what our guys can do. There are so many ways this can go! Man, this was a good chapter! Eagerly looking forward to the next one. Lola
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Post by Rob on Nov 18, 2004 2:14:03 GMT -5
Yes - nice work, Rob. Lilah & Spike, and Lilah & Faith stood out as especially well done dynamics to me. For some reason, the Riley lines about GMA and the Today Show were my favorites - just made me smile and guffaw. Gun-toting Dawn was kinda disturbing, but it fit with the story and I could picture it. You did it right, keeping in character as you always do. Another fave line: "Anyone with a pulse notices my wife - come to think of it, even that isn't a deal breaker." Yes, even dead guys notice the hotness of Faith. The whole "siring Immortals" story line - very creative and very scary, especially with Dru (of all vamps - perfect!) in the lead. Hope you continue to enjoy doing this, and will keep up the good work! Thanks as always, Spring. Great to hear from you. Dawn's gun-totage was supposed to be disturbing, so it's good to know that worked. Poor thing has had an extremely stressful night. As to my enjoying the work...I'm sure things will be easier now. This particular chapter was very hard to write, 'cause it involved so much exposition...and there was so much more to tie together than I originally planned. It's the price of trying to do a true ensemble fic. I swear to you: next time I'm writing the standard internet fanfic where one or two favorite characters get all the cool moments and dialogue, while the rest just treat said favorites like crap and/or die. That has to be easier.
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Post by Rob on Nov 18, 2004 3:03:53 GMT -5
Ooooh, this was so worth the wait, even though I know it wasn't fun for you. Loved the Angel and Lilah and Spike snarking. Funny, and then grrrrrrrr when she pokes, pokes, pokes at Spike’s hot button issues. Dawn with a gun was very effective and scary. I liked how you had us see her not only through Dawn actions (behavior, voice, etc.) but through the reactions of people around her. And I liked how you get us to understand that Lilah is still scary too. (Which is a god thing to remind us considering how the chapter ends! ) Telling the guards to leave and then, when they won’t, getting them to scurry with just one “NOW”. Plus the lovely subtle threat of a rising sun. The scenes with Willow and Xander and Buffy were so great – bantering, but with a bittersweet edge – moments of awkwardness and knowing each other too well – knowing how to take care of each other and how to hurt each other. They’re all so on edge with the current danger that the others are facing as well as the issues around Willow’s pregnancy and Xander’s health. “I’m out of things to hit.” “I promise I’ll shake it off. Ha, ha. Get it? Shake?” “I’m going on the Net.” They each have their own means of dealing with things, of escaping from things, don’t they? But then, big points to Buffy for actually stepping outside all their usual avoidance and really trying to talk to Xander. Lilah’s news about who is behind all this? Can I just say “eeeeep” right now! Sounds like the side opposite TPTB (or are TPTB not that high up, I can never remember . . . )? The bits about the dinosaurs and how we are apparently living in a time when the bad guys won a very long time ago and now it’s happening again and then the final bits with imortal vamps and the Earth trapped and unable to get outside help? Very dramatic and cool. I keep wondering how you are gonna top the big bad from the last story and you keep doing it. (Just like Joss!!) Plus, thinking about what Lilah was talking about makes me really wonder how Willow’s comment that “this world isn’t the one I’ll take it out on” is going to fit into the grand scheme. But really, it’s the final bits with Lilah that hold the most plotty interest. Dru and the girls and the rings and the true immortality and the fact that Lilah knows about the events to happen tomorrow and . . . . well. I’m trying to figure out what is/are going to be the crucial deciding factors for the finale and there are so many possibilities. I’m torn between: the fact that Lilah’s Gatekeeper “clients” don’t know about her extra-curricular activities; the big event at the stadium; the unexpected issue with Dru and her merry band; the usual big bag mistake of underestimating what our guys can do. There are so many ways this can go! Man, this was a good chapter! Eagerly looking forward to the next one. Lola Thank you so much...your interpretation of the behavior of the three original Scoobs is exactly where I was going with that...Buffy (inspired by Spike) breaking through the standard late-season conversations and actually communicating. I'll have more to say about the little tidbit I dropped regarding dinosaurs in the next chapter (through Fred and Wesley, I would imagine). I'm hoping no one read that and did an "oh, please!" roll-the-eyes moment. On the surface, it seems a little silly, I know. Thing is, I had three things in mind when I sat down to write this story almost 18 months ago: 1. The strain of people in committed relationships, especially when confronted with the past...hence the name of the story. 2. Willow gets pregnant. 3. Dinosaurs becoming extinct for supernatural reasons. Just 'cause the idea was so freakin' bizarre I fell in love with it. Everything else was made up as I went along...so it's a relief to know at least someone out there believed it made sense. Thanks again, Lola. I'll try to have new material faster from now on.
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Post by carole on Jan 5, 2005 18:51:26 GMT -5
please please tell me your still working on this story? it is way to good to leave it hanging like that. this is one of the BEST fic's i have read in a long time and i read alot as i run a btvs/ats yahoo fic group fire and ice. lol you HAVE to write more....... please??
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Post by Rob on Jan 5, 2005 19:00:03 GMT -5
please please tell me your still working on this story? it is way to good to leave it hanging like that. this is one of the BEST fic's i have read in a long time and i read alot as i run a btvs/ats yahoo fic group fire and ice. lol you HAVE to write more....... please?? I promise I'm working on it...thanks so much for taking the time to comment. It's always wonderful to hear from new readers.
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Post by Patti - S'cubie Cutie on Feb 1, 2005 19:07:13 GMT -5
I LOVED this chapter Rob! The dialogue is terrific, lots of laughs but with strong tinges of pain....great job!
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Post by Queen E on Feb 2, 2005 22:27:17 GMT -5
Hey, Rob; I really loved these last 2 chapters, and the scene with Xander at the end was heartbreaking, but I have a question. Does Xander calling Faith and having her be his proxy mean that the baby is no longer his, Buffy's and Willow's, but Faith's, Buffy's and Willow's? Or is this something that will be answered in subsequent chapters? If the latter's the case, you can just say, "all will become clear," as I don't want to be spoiled.
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Post by Rob on Feb 2, 2005 23:19:18 GMT -5
Hey, Rob; I really loved these last 2 chapters, and the scene with Xander at the end was heartbreaking, but I have a question. Does Xander calling Faith and having her be his proxy mean that the baby is no longer his, Buffy's and Willow's, but Faith's, Buffy's and Willow's? Or is this something that will be answered in subsequent chapters? If the latter's the case, you can just say, "all will become clear," as I don't want to be spoiled. Ah! You and my esteemed beta-reader have something in common. I made an effort to rewrite things a bit after Patti asked this very question (Faith saying "you gave up-" and Willow's comment about Xander always being Daddy were added), but obviously I didn't do a very good job of it. Sorry. Anyhow, the answer is this: For Faith to take his place in the arena, Xander had to, in effect, give up his child. The mystical/emotional bond had to be broken, which is why he placed Faith's hand against Willow's stomach. Hence his breakdown at the end. I appreciate your question and interest very much. It's gratifying to know I've broken your heart. Well...you know what I mean.
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Post by Just Willow on Feb 2, 2005 23:35:13 GMT -5
Ah! You and my esteemed beta-reader have something in common. I made an effort to rewrite things a bit after Patti asked this very question (Faith saying "you gave up-" and Willow's comment about Xander always being Daddy were added), but obviously I didn't do a very good job of it. Sorry. Anyhow, the answer is this: For Faith to take his place in the arena, Xander had to, in effect, give up his child. The mystical/emotional bond had to be broken, which is why he placed Faith's hand against Willow's stomach. Hence his breakdown at the end. I appreciate your question and interest very much. It's gratifying to know I've broken your heart. Well...you know what I mean. The re-write worked for me Rob. Got the tears and the lump in the throat and everything. It's a great chapter but I'm scared of the next one. And yet....hurry up and write it.
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Post by Queen E on Feb 3, 2005 0:43:22 GMT -5
Ah! You and my esteemed beta-reader have something in common. I made an effort to rewrite things a bit after Patti asked this very question (Faith saying "you gave up-" and Willow's comment about Xander always being Daddy were added), but obviously I didn't do a very good job of it. Sorry. Anyhow, the answer is this: For Faith to take his place in the arena, Xander had to, in effect, give up his child. The mystical/emotional bond had to be broken, which is why he placed Faith's hand against Willow's stomach. Hence his breakdown at the end. I appreciate your question and interest very much. It's gratifying to know I've broken your heart. Well...you know what I mean. No, that's the thought I thought I thought, but wasn't sure if I thought right. It worked on a lot of levels; Xander breaking that bond and yet giving it to Faith, especially since she can't have her own child, is beautiful, and so very in character for Xander. The whole conversation about things that last, and what he's been given by Buffy that enabled him to believe in himself enough to do this...it isn't just the stadium he built...it's the strength to give up something he loves. I just wasn't sure if it wasn't one of the "tests."
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Post by Rob on Feb 3, 2005 2:40:47 GMT -5
I just wasn't sure if it wasn't one of the "tests." Well....in a way, it was. Thanks again.
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Post by Lola m on Feb 3, 2005 21:14:00 GMT -5
Rob! You’re killing me here! Excellent, most excellent two chapters. I love all the plotlines coming together. Loved the contrasting scenes of the gang trapped at Lilah’s, alternately thinking things were going well and then realizing how trapped they really were (**snerk** potpourri!) with the quieter, yet more emotionally intense, scenes with Willow and Buffy and Xander. The “original Scooby gang” – nice touch! And I’m so glad we didn’t lose sight of Gunn and Lorne! And what a perfect reason to do so, because . . . . OMG! The gang singing Radiohead! (Hey, I wanted them to do Tainted Love. **pout, pout** Angel is right, ya know. They do still play it in clubs. ) Clever way to get them out of the apartment, and I love that we get a cute scene with Spike and Angel and complaining about having to travel under blankets. I don’t know why that one in particular, but you really got me with the part where Willow and Buffy and Xander are in the Coliseum, when Buffy is so amazed and is talking about how it will be there when they’re gone and says: ““What do I have to prove I was here? All my accomplishments turn to dust.” And then Xander jokes and Willow offers to make her a part of the work and . . . well, it was just so like each of them and perfect after the “original” line and then – eeep! Giles! Nice. ;D (I think that you liked that moment too, or you wouldn’t have circled back to it later, when Xander says to Buffy: “I never would’ve believed I could build something like this until I met you.” He met her eyes. “I figure that makes it your legacy too.” **sniff, sniff – this was just lovely!**) But best of all was the whole ending. Xander giving his challenge, and his part of the baby (!!!!!) to Faith, knowing that saving the world (heck, all the worlds) was more important. Loved his saying: “So much garbage we went through recently could’ve been avoided if I’d just acted like a man for once. I was scared. Didn’t want you thinking I was weak. . . . I should have trusted you.” And now Faith is a part of the baby! And that’s just such an amazing gift to her. But, oh poor Xander. Such a wonderful treat to get these two chapters. Thank you, Rob! Lola
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Post by Rob on Feb 4, 2005 0:17:54 GMT -5
Rob! You’re killing me here! Excellent, most excellent two chapters. I love all the plotlines coming together. Loved the contrasting scenes of the gang trapped at Lilah’s, alternately thinking things were going well and then realizing how trapped they really were (**snerk** potpourri!) with the quieter, yet more emotionally intense, scenes with Willow and Buffy and Xander. The “original Scooby gang” – nice touch! And I’m so glad we didn’t lose sight of Gunn and Lorne! And what a perfect reason to do so, because . . . . OMG! The gang singing Radiohead! (Hey, I wanted them to do Tainted Love. **pout, pout** Angel is right, ya know. They do still play it in clubs. ) Clever way to get them out of the apartment, and I love that we get a cute scene with Spike and Angel and complaining about having to travel under blankets. I don’t know why that one in particular, but you really got me with the part where Willow and Buffy and Xander are in the Coliseum, when Buffy is so amazed and is talking about how it will be there when they’re gone and says: ““What do I have to prove I was here? All my accomplishments turn to dust.” And then Xander jokes and Willow offers to make her a part of the work and . . . well, it was just so like each of them and perfect after the “original” line and then – eeep! Giles! Nice. ;D (I think that you liked that moment too, or you wouldn’t have circled back to it later, when Xander says to Buffy: “I never would’ve believed I could build something like this until I met you.” He met her eyes. “I figure that makes it your legacy too.” **sniff, sniff – this was just lovely!**) But best of all was the whole ending. Xander giving his challenge, and his part of the baby (!!!!!) to Faith, knowing that saving the world (heck, all the worlds) was more important. Loved his saying: “So much garbage we went through recently could’ve been avoided if I’d just acted like a man for once. I was scared. Didn’t want you thinking I was weak. . . . I should have trusted you.” And now Faith is a part of the baby! And that’s just such an amazing gift to her. But, oh poor Xander. Such a wonderful treat to get these two chapters. Thank you, Rob! Lola Thank YOU. It makes it all worthwhile when I see reviews like this one. The next chapter will be the climactic one, obviously...and extremely long (by my chapter length standards, at least). It's going to take some time for me to be happy with it, but I'll try to have it out soon. Thanks again. These reviews the last couple of days have made my month...and it just started.
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Post by Patti - S'cubie Cutie on Apr 26, 2005 17:04:46 GMT -5
Rob, Chapter 34 was wonderful!
I've told you this but I'll say it in 'public' - You do awesome climactic scenes - I love the way you build up the tension and the payoff is great!
This isn't supposed to be 'wink wink nudge nudge' though it's coming out that way. LOL!
As you know, I liked everything about this chapter - even if I did have to google the A Team characters!
Don't make us wait so long for the next one, please!
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Post by Lola m on Apr 30, 2005 11:48:27 GMT -5
Ahhhhh, Rob. You do Scooby conversation like no one else can - well, like no one other than Joss. The banter with true caring underneath, valuable information exchanged, and real understanding between Giles and Buffy and Willow and Faith and Joyce was just perfect. And Riley! Woo hoo! Still sweet and sometime a bit naïve, but he can get things done! I like that your Riley is recognizable Riley. He may not be my favorite character, but he shouldn’t always just be used as a stock villain type either. Bloody Finn, showing off (he always did like to do that a bit, in a non-show-offy way) indeed. It was so good to hear him tell his troops that these civilians have been fighting demons for a long time and they should listen to them. Shades of Buffy telling off the Watchers and just as satisfying. (Nice sly note with Riley getting in a slight jab at Angel and Spike.) The scenes with Wilkins and Faith were great. Revisiting the past, as it were. Getting a chance to tell him things she needs to say and he should hear, things that are true. She believes him, he’s not a liar. She knows he did love her, in his own way. But when she plucks out the word “useful” she’s putting her finger right on it. “. . . would you have let me into your office if I couldn’t kill stuff?” And then the final eeeeeep stuff as he changes to his ascended state!! Classic perfect inner Xander voice in the supermarket – “That’s how it’s done, Xander thought to himself. The art of sugary distraction.” His wild careening drive into the garage and “what would Buffy do” – “she can’t drive for shit”. Just so wonderfully sad and fucked up and true. Ending, of course as we knew it had to, with him heading back out. How could he be Xander and not? Loved Wes and Dawn, shoulder to shoulder! And Xander all special forces with the guns and figuring Jack out ! “Hey! That didn’t even tickle!” Yeah! Sooooooo happy to read another chapter! Will be eagerly waiting for more exciting stuff to come! Lola
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