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Post by SpringSummers on Feb 5, 2011 16:59:41 GMT -5
30+ years difference really seems excessive, but Jan and I had a 16 year difference between us and for us it worked out fine. The heart wants what the heart wants. Hi folks. Long time. Hi Rich! Long time, indeed. An age difference really only makes a difference if you allow it to make a difference. I say trust your heart. All we really are guaranteed of is right now anyway. How's it going sweetie? It's been a long winter, but the sun is getting warmer every day! Two adults, of any age - well, they are adults! What they do is their own business. On trusting your heart - the heart wants what it wants, etc - IMO - great advice for some people (certainly for Rich!), terrible for others. I have a gf whose heart is always telling her to go for moochie uber-jerks. She is honestly attracted; her heart wants, etc. . . but I would really like her to start applying her brain as well. When your brain is screaming: "No, no, no, please no, not again - wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong !!!" it should not be ignored, no matter what your heart is saying. Ideally, mind and heart should be in at least an uneasy agreement.
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Post by SpringSummers on Feb 5, 2011 17:02:02 GMT -5
I had a really hard time finding him in the bulldozer one - and though he was easy to find, I loved the one with the police officer.
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Post by SpringSummers on Feb 5, 2011 17:31:43 GMT -5
Speaking of mind/heart, that guy I was dating a year or so ago sent me another email a few weeks back. He was the one that told me approx 6 wks after I lost Vince that an old girlfriend had gotten in touch, and he had gone out with her a few times, and really wanted to continue dating her, but he wanted to stay friends with me, and he wasn't sure what he wanted, etc. I told him: "Date her, good luck, and never contact me again." So starting a few months ago, I have gotten two emails and an facebook message, and have totally ignored them all. For me, there is no mind/heart battle going on. His behavior told my brain "this guy is absolutely not for you," and at the same time, killed all feelings I had for him. One thing I just realized: He used a "heart wants what it wants" defense in talking about his need to date this other woman. He even got a bit weepy on me, I remember. I think he wanted me to see him as "bravely following his heart." I mean - he couldn't help the timing, could he? I did not dispute his explanation or viewpoint, but, me? I saw him as really, really weak, cowardly, dishonest, and grossly immature. I was 100% sure his relationship with this woman wouldn't last. They had gone out on a few dates, behind my back, while I was deeply in grief. Doesn't exactly scream "We are two mature people who know what love means and can make it work." "My heart is leading me" reasoning can be a truly wonderful, joyous thing, or it can be a self-serving bunch o' crapola - IMO. Well, I am rambling and a little unsure of the message here, but there ya go.
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Post by SpringSummers on Feb 5, 2011 17:36:51 GMT -5
I had he contractor over to look over Vince's domain, upstairs - so that the work to overhaul the area into a place for a foster child can begin.
He came over this morning.
It kinda took a lot out of me. I really need to get the work done, but - well, Vince had truly made that upstairs his own - everything from the drawings and writings on the wall, to the holes in the wall, to the ceiling fan innards pulled and hanging down (I think he sometimes thought the room was bugged), the pennies I collected up there - it's all going to change.
There are two bedrooms up there, and I want the space changed into one bedroom with a small bathroom.
Oh, man.
I will be happy to get it done, and I want to start on the fostering, but man - really getting started is sort of pulling my guts out at the same time.
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Post by SpringSummers on Feb 5, 2011 17:42:05 GMT -5
I need some dinner!!
And there ends my Pattitis.
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Post by Lola m on Feb 5, 2011 18:21:23 GMT -5
Crazy busy weekend! Concert tonight, Opera tomorrow, managed to catch a bit of the City of Lakes Loppet when I went shopping - watched an ice-cycle race, looked at the snow sculptures, and saw plenty of folks ready for skiing (and folks and dogs ready for skijoring). All this while still managing to get my ComicCon tix (well, got individual badge for each day, rather than the 4-day badge, but still) - crazy trying to get thru to order our con badges! Oy!! Have to head off soon to get ready for my musical evening, but I'll try to post a few Loppet pics in the S'cubie album. So much cool stuff to see!
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Feb 5, 2011 18:33:57 GMT -5
And yet we all think Bogart and Bacall had one of the great romances of our times. She was born in 1924, he in 1899; she was 21 when they married. Michael Douglas is also 25 years older than Catherine Zeta Jones (and was 14 years older than his first wife). For that matter, my sister is 13 years older than her husband. Now, if he'd dumped her when she turned 21 and found another teenager, that would be a very bad sign. Julia, not, in fact, an advocate of great disparities in age between spouses, especially since I have a birds-eye view of the horrors of being 50 with a spouse in his eighties in a friends marriage. 30+ years difference really seems excessive, but Jan and I had a 16 year difference between us and for us it worked out fine. The heart wants what the heart wants. Hi folks. Long time. Hi Rich!!! Missed you lots!
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Post by beccaelizabeth on Feb 5, 2011 18:52:02 GMT -5
#wavey# #grouphug#
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Post by Anne, Old S'cubie Cat on Feb 5, 2011 19:58:00 GMT -5
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Post by Spaced Out Looney on Feb 5, 2011 20:20:32 GMT -5
Just putting something out there: As I've said before, I've been trying to figure out what to do with my cats during rotations. I thought that my mom's cousin would be able to take them, but I talked to her last night and she's not sure at this point if she'd be able to take them. So I was wondering whether any of y'all (within driving distance) would be able to take them for me, either for the next 2 years and/or permanently, or might know some one who could?] Ah. You can't take them with you, I assume? My co-worker gets a pet-sitter to look in on her dogs when she travels. I think it costs her about $10 a day or so. ETA: I hope you can work this out! I do have a co-worker who lives in the Moorsville area. I could give him a shout. My options at this point are either to find a central location in Wyoming and leave Yuri and Val there and be gone half the time, or to find some one to take them, put all my stuff in my parents storage locker, and to sleep in the hospital accommodations or whatever place I can find. I have to 6 months my 3rd year at some yet to be determined location around here, and then the rest hopefully in Wyoming. 4th year I have to do 4 months (hopefully consecutive, but who knows at this point) at a yet to be determined location around here and the rest in Wyoming, except for possibly an international rotation and a wilderness medicine location. And even in Wyoming, it's likely that I will have to travel from city to city. I won't even start figuring out what my schedule will be until March, and even then circumstances can change right up to the moment that I start the next rotation. I hired a pet sitter to come by 2x/week when I was gone this summer, and even so, it was really stressful on Yuri and Val. And that was only 2 months. I really don't think it's fair to be leaving them alone for so much longer, even if I could afford to hire a pet sitter to come by daily. It's been bad enough with them couped up in my room these past 2 years and not spending nearly enough with them. I really think I owe it to them to give them a better home if I can and to myself to not have the added stress of wondering if they're OK on top of everything else. If you think that your co-worker would be able to take them, I would very much appreciate you asking him, thanks.
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Post by Sue on Feb 6, 2011 9:37:29 GMT -5
Liz --
How old are each of the cats? Do you want to find them a new permanent home or are you hoping to get them back after the 2 years of displacement/vagabondry that is residency?
I have a sister in Knoxville. She has 4 dogs and I'll ask her to ask around but wanted more details.
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Post by Karen on Feb 6, 2011 10:14:45 GMT -5
I had he contractor over to look over Vince's domain, upstairs - so that the work to overhaul the area into a place for a foster child can begin. He came over this morning. It kinda took a lot out of me. I really need to get the work done, but - well, Vince had truly made that upstairs his own - everything from the drawings and writings on the wall, to the holes in the wall, to the ceiling fan innards pulled and hanging down (I think he sometimes thought the room was bugged), the pennies I collected up there - it's all going to change. There are two bedrooms up there, and I want the space changed into one bedroom with a small bathroom. Oh, man. I will be happy to get it done, and I want to start on the fostering, but man - really getting started is sort of pulling my guts out at the same time. Just remember, that's only the space Vince used to inhabit...he lives on in your heart and you are only making that bigger to allow another to share it. That's a wonderful thing. Not many of us could do that.
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Post by Karen on Feb 6, 2011 10:21:10 GMT -5
Oh look. It' snowing. How pretty. At least it's not the raging blizzard we had on Tuesday. I am trying to remember the feeling I had when I got excited to see it for the first time in November.
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Post by Karen on Feb 6, 2011 10:58:43 GMT -5
Crazy busy weekend! Concert tonight, Opera tomorrow, managed to catch a bit of the City of Lakes Loppet when I went shopping - watched an ice-cycle race, looked at the snow sculptures, and saw plenty of folks ready for skiing (and folks and dogs ready for skijoring). All this while still managing to get my ComicCon tix (well, got individual badge for each day, rather than the 4-day badge, but still) - crazy trying to get thru to order our con badges! Oy!! Have to head off soon to get ready for my musical evening, but I'll try to post a few Loppet pics in the S'cubie album. So much cool stuff to see! There's the snow excitement! Sounds like a great weekend ahead, Lola. And ComicCon is almost sold out! Amazing, really. We are a loony tunes nation who likes to have fun! ;D (And I mean that in the best possible way!)
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Post by Karen on Feb 6, 2011 11:05:18 GMT -5
Just putting something out there: As I've said before, I've been trying to figure out what to do with my cats during rotations. I thought that my mom's cousin would be able to take them, but I talked to her last night and she's not sure at this point if she'd be able to take them. So I was wondering whether any of y'all (within driving distance) would be able to take them for me, either for the next 2 years and/or permanently, or might know some one who could?] Ah. You can't take them with you, I assume? My co-worker gets a pet-sitter to look in on her dogs when she travels. I think it costs her about $10 a day or so. ETA: I hope you can work this out! I do have a co-worker who lives in the Moorsville area. I could give him a shout. My options at this point are either to find a central location in Wyoming and leave Yuri and Val there and be gone half the time, or to find some one to take them, put all my stuff in my parents storage locker, and to sleep in the hospital accommodations or whatever place I can find. I have to 6 months my 3rd year at some yet to be determined location around here, and then the rest hopefully in Wyoming. 4th year I have to do 4 months (hopefully consecutive, but who knows at this point) at a yet to be determined location around here and the rest in Wyoming, except for possibly an international rotation and a wilderness medicine location. And even in Wyoming, it's likely that I will have to travel from city to city. I won't even start figuring out what my schedule will be until March, and even then circumstances can change right up to the moment that I start the next rotation. I hired a pet sitter to come by 2x/week when I was gone this summer, and even so, it was really stressful on Yuri and Val. And that was only 2 months. I really don't think it's fair to be leaving them alone for so much longer, even if I could afford to hire a pet sitter to come by daily. It's been bad enough with them couped up in my room these past 2 years and not spending nearly enough with them. I really think I owe it to them to give them a better home if I can and to myself to not have the added stress of wondering if they're OK on top of everything else. If you think that your co-worker would be able to take them, I would very much appreciate you asking him, thanks. Will do, Liz!
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