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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:38:34 GMT -5
Yes Nan, rant away. I am currently suffering from the completely opposite form of doldrums.
I recently accepted a job that is to start March 3. I have no choice in the start date because the first three months will be training. I am also currently writting my thesis. Simply put, there is no way on God's Green Earth that said thesis will be completed before said job commences. This leads to the scenario. Thesis must be written on evenings and weekends. While taking courses all day. While fighting off the flu. Having recently discovered that I have single digit iron levels (which probably accounts for my having the attention span of a gnat.) Oh, well... What can you do? Just keep plugging away at it and hope it will all come together in the end. And remember, when you need to rant, you already have a ready made support group. Oh well, must get back to that pesky thesis. Watergal
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:39:17 GMT -5
I realized today that not seeing buffy for 3 weeks is going to produce severe symptoms of withdrawal- Alex- that last Nerd game was just too hard for me- i will wait for the next one- and we really need it. Did you receive my email or just vlad's with my e mail address? Diane- I have tried e mailing you 3 x now- i will send it to Vlad and let him forward it to you- i do not know what is wrong with my e mail.
ellie jason
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:39:57 GMT -5
All right, some of this is so weird I'm afraid to write it, but I just spent half my day feeling about as bad as I have in a while. I figured I was going to be fine once confirmation came of Sarah's departure sine it was pretty much a foregone conclusion...but people who know me well kept coming up to me at work and asking me if I'd heard about it (I kept having to bite back "of course I've heard about it you nimrod"). I put up a nice brave front, smiling and nodding. Telling everyone that it was to be expected with Sarah's success outside of BTVS and how 144 episodes is a great run. They're going out on top, history will recognize how great and unique it was, blah, blah, blah. In the meantime my stomach feels like it's being turned inside out. The last time I remember feeling this peculiar agony is when someone I loved told me they didn't love me any more and felt the need to move on. Seriously, it's the exact same feeling. Good God, we have 6 episodes to go, and every indication is they're going out strong. It worries me that I feel this bad today. How am I going to feel in May when it's really over? I think it's entirely possible that I've lost what little sanity I had to begin with. If not, there is only one conclusion that makes any sense: this little TV show has touched me in a deep, personal way.....and somehow it's changed me. I'm not entirely certain why or how, but it has. Somewhere along the line I became emotionally invested in them, and they repaid me by helping me to understand fundmental truths about life. I was enriched by the experience. Great art is a mirror, and in many ways Xander is mine. In high school and beyond, I WAS Xander. When I see him progress into the man he has become, I feel good about myself somehow. A little background is called for, I guess. My sisters and I lost my Dad 8 years ago. I was 23 at the time, and my older sister was 28, so we were slightly better equipped to handle the loss. My younger sister, however, was only 12. I pretty much helped Mom raise her through her teenage years, which frankly I was ill equipped to do since my own high school experience was so bad...but I did the best I could. My older sister was married with children of her own, so it fell to me to take up the responsibility. Slightly less than a year ago my older sister was killed in an auto accident. She was 37 years old. She taught pre-K children with special needs and volunteered at the YMCA as an aerobics instructor. She left behind two boys, ages eight and nine. She was a better, more accomplished person than I could ever hope to be. This left me as the eldest child, and I was already the only male to begin with. My younger sister will be 21 next month. She's working toward a degree in psychology. She hopes to help children who, like her, suffered pain and loss long before anyone should. I'm more proud of her than you can possibly imagine; anything good about me is manifested through her. I rarely had all the answers....all I could do was be there. Apparently it was enough. I'm not entirely sure why I felt the need to share this way, and I'm sorry to ramble on. I'm trying to establish a parallel here. My family (almost all women) loves me, but generally speaking they don't come to me unless things are really bad and they have no one else to turn to. I give them an ear and occasionally some silly advice to make them laugh. I often felt neglected when I was younger, but it finally came to me that no matter what, I'm there for them and they know it. In many ways I'm taken for granted because I'm not as well educated as they are, and haven't maximized the opportunities I've been given in life. Yet I've accepted my role within the family because when I do choose to be serious and make points, they listen. This is so close to the relationship between Xander and his female family that it scares me more than a little. The powerful achievers are all around him, not really noticing all the little things he does. If he doesn't do them they'd surely notice...but that's unthinkable. He would never let them down. This is why I want it to end with them pulling close together and telling each other how much they mean...especially with regard to Xander. When things go to Hell, your family is all you have....and they're not around as long as you think.
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:40:39 GMT -5
Nan- Just to say- I know you will ace that civil service exam ( which utterly begs the question of whether you want that actual job!) I find that Buffy ( in earlier years said function performed admirably by Dick Van Dyke show during teen years when my mother spent huge amounts of time in the hospital and Mash during the years when my firstborn was small and money was very tight) provides a nice refuge and solace from the buffeting" of regular life concerns. It gives me a space to think abstractly about some issues (teens,relationships, career enui, etc) and this board has provided a forum for talking some of this out. Please feel absolutely free to rant/rave/share b/c it can be lonely out there and home can even be a transitory internet commnunity of like minded show devotees.
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:42:04 GMT -5
Robert- What you wrote was so clear and beautiful it made me cry- it reminded me how often we do not examine or realize how important those who love and support us really are. It also gave me a deeer appreciation of Xander, I will nevr see him again without thinking of what you have written. I came across this quote some time ago and I cannot give attribution b/c i forget who wrote it - "It is pointless to spend much time wrestling with the question of wheeher tv can be art (of course it can be and often isn't). But there have been many days when, after a particularly potent "buffy" episode, I've found myself feeling vaguely off my game, my mind clouded with a gauzy. muted sense of dread. When a show jostles your equilibrium to the point of haunting your days or robbing you of sleep, when it finds a place in your imagination tht also rubs, hard at the core of who you really are, it starts to look like something more than what we simply call tv." ( I wish I had the author's name) This hits the nub of what you, and I and Nan and others on this board find so appealing about Buffy. Thank you for sharing that- I have already sent it (with attribution) to several friends. You have real writing talent and I hope you will pursue it professionally b/c people need to be reminded about wht is important in eloquent ways.
ellie jason
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:42:43 GMT -5
Miss Pamela - I have the tape. I have now made a copy for Ellie which will be shipped out probably Friday night. I was not sure if people merely wanted to see the episode or if they wanted a copy to keep. I can do either. So I guess I need to hear from Diane, Julie, and you about addresses to send the tapes to. (Got Ellie's already.) My email address is on the S'Cubie web site so you all can email me using that address. The resolution of the episode visually is very watchable but not extra, extra crisp being a copy of a tape. But the briefly seen ebulgence is very nice...
Alexandra K.
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:43:26 GMT -5
:: Diane, If you can get to the MSN internet access page, at the top of the left hand column (next to a glass of wine) is a teaser for an article on 'The Secret Vice of Power Women'. It's all about Law and Order reruns. Check it out. RG :: Saw it.
Diane U
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:44:31 GMT -5
That quote about the show is very good. Several episodes have left me deeply affected for a long time. I appreciate your comments about my writing...I generally don't share stuff like that in message boards, but I couldn't come up with a better way to explain my fixation toward that particular character. Sarah once made reference in an interview that there is a character on the show for everyone to identify with. That's a very perceptive comment on her part. Buffy, Willow and Xander weren't necessarily a natural fit to be high school friends. Buffy was a beautiful cheerleader type, Willow was a brilliant wallflower and Xander was a goofy nerd. Circumstances forced the three of them to experience terrible things together, and they all learned that when you scratch the surface, people are a lot alike. Buffy summed it up perfectly in Earshot, an episode that should be required viewing in American high schools.
Rob Sorenson
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:45:04 GMT -5
Hey all!! Dont know if it's a re-run, or a new show, but my tvtimes guide says that James Marsters will be appearing on the Craig Kilborn show!! [whoever he is . .] The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn Type: Talk Duration: 1 hr Description: Liza Minnelli and David Gest; actor James Marsters ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer); comedian David J. Nash. Airing:Tue 3/4/2003 12:35AM 16 WIVB now this happened to me before . .. when the listing says "Tuesday at 12:35 AM" it really means MONDAY NITE!!! so make sure you set the VCR to Tuesday, but do it before monday nite . . . otherwise much dissappointment will ensue. happy taping! -Shannon
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:45:56 GMT -5
Ok, Ellie. We'll try to hook up through the Technopagan. Vlad, I'll email you my address so Ellie can send me the tape. Ellie, I don't know why you're having trouble, but I've been checking my email faithfully every day and honey, you ain't there. *sigh* One more for the winter doldrums. I wasn't going to rant my problems on the board, but you're not alone. My grandson's got a rare disorder called eosinophilic gastroenteritis (EG). It turns your immune system against your digestive system. My daughter formed a charity called APFED (American Partnership For Eosinophilic Disorders)to help him and others like him. She is now showing symptoms too. Medical tests, Medical tests and more Medical tests. Anyone interested knowing about EG or APFED see the website www.apfed.org. My job stinks and management hates me. My husband's unemployed and has been for a year and isn't likely to find anything soon. Mid-winter. I hate it.
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:46:27 GMT -5
BTW, Nan, I took the Civil Service exam 16 years ago and nearly aced it. I was young, hung over and it was 7 a.m. Trust me, take your time and it's a piece of cake to anyone who has a 6th grade education and any marginal computer skills. We really are a troupe here. I would feel so bad for all of us except that our problems are only a mircocosim of the rest of the world. And we have each other, so we're really a step up from everyone who isn't us. So maybe it's not really that bad.
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:47:01 GMT -5
ROBERT: Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the reasons you love Xander. If you keep this up, we're going to be calling you the heart of the S'cubie group. You do write very well and I very much agree with you. BtVS just touches something in me with it's deep, realistic portrayal of what it means to live in this world - to love and be loved (always imperfectly), to win and to lose in love and in life. It makes sense that you are feeling a profound sense of loss. It is hard to share that with others when you are talking about a TV whose meaning to you they don't understand. You are all making me cry today. Diane, so true - mid-winter makes it all the worse. I am going through an extremely hard time with my older son who was hospitalized two weeks ago - it is so scary. You are so right, Robert, about our family and loved ones - how fragile it all is. I suppose I am "transferring" my sense of dread in real life to the show. I dunno. I just know it's cathartic to watch the show, and good to sneak away to this board a few times a day. With my son's illness, I have had so few opportunity for real get-aways the last few years. Edited By Spring Summers at 2/27/2003 8:25:00 PM.
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:47:40 GMT -5
Diane-Alexandra- Bear with me- technomoron here. I have emailed you both again. Please check -if it does not work this time- I shall await further instructions from Vlad. "sigh". This Board is very sustaining- I find myself wondering about individual poster reactions to the show right after it is over and I check in here to solidify a sense of shared reactions/responses to what I have seen. Often I have changed my mind about individual episodes or characters based upon a second viewing or things people here have written tht have made me reassess my original reaction. The amazing thing is that the shows are vibrant and complex enough to support these nuanced readings.
ellie jason
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:48:15 GMT -5
Thanks to everybody for being so patient with my wildly off-topic summary of my current complaints. My explosion seems to have set off a round of similar personal stuff, so maybe it wasn't as self-indulgent as I thought it was. Anyway, for a laugh, I set out for the civil service exam an hour before it was to start, for what should have been a 15 minute drive. I got caught in not one but TWO traffic backups--first on the expressway, then on the side road I tried which unfortunately fed into the expressway, so traffic was completely backed up there, too, with no exits and nothing to do but sit. My 15 minute drive took me an hour and a half, and by the time I got there, the civil service exam was over and everyone had left. So that's one job I won't be getting...and the civil service exams are held once a year, so that blows out a whole raft of possibilities. Amazingly, I neither blew a tire, ran out of gas, nor was overtaken by the impending snowstorm on the way home, which is about all I can say for this day. I appreciate others opening up a bit about their current situations, to keep mine company. At least it will give us something else to gloom about for the next month. Or not. Nan
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Post by Dalton on Jul 7, 2003 13:48:52 GMT -5
Spring, cathartic is a perfect word to use. Real life is pretty darn hard sometimes, and sometimes I think the emotion that the show generates is transference of some kind. Oooooh...it's getting deep in here now. :-) In all seriousness, I hope that all will be well with your son...and Diane's grandson. I think I need to go read some happy fanfic now.
Rob Sorenson
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