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Post by SpringSummers on Nov 2, 2010 14:08:42 GMT -5
So. Interesting evening I had last night. An ex-sex partner/old college friend (we dated for six weeks, so "boyfriend" is generous) found me via my LinkedIn profile a month or so ago, and sent me an e-mail. We had a couple of nice e-mail chats about family (he has an adorable six-year-old daughter) and work, and he asked if I wanted to have dinner to "catch up". Of course, minor alarm bells, but since it's been 15 years since I saw the man, and I honestly wanted to see him and chat, I said, "Sure." And I brought my husband and daughter with me. As is appropriate when meeting up with an old not-quite-boyfriend. This prompted him (Alan, the guy in question) to ask, "Um, so what does he (Dave) know about us?" Erm. Everything. I mean, what's to know, anyway? Old friend from college, dated for six weeks, haven't seen him in 15 years. I don't hide these things from my husband - why would I? But, at any rate, the alarms got a bit louder - I had suspicions. Which I also told my husband.... We had a lovely dinner last night, and, when Emily was preparing to insist that it was bedtime, for crying out loud, Dave took her for a little walk while Alan and I finished up. At which point Alan decided it was time to tell me that he and his wife were divorcing. And some of the reasons why. *sigh* (In a mildly amused way.) Some people really don't change, do they? That information couldn't have been conveyed over the last month's worth of e-mails? Or while Dave was in the room? I mean, I'm trying to be charitable about it, but I *really* feel like he still has zero scruples when it comes to women, and was possibly putting the moves on me while my husband was within shouting distance. And now I get to have Dave tease me about my "date with a divorced guy" until at least Christmas. And feel guilty because, despite myself, I enjoyed the attention. I won't be encouraging any MORE of it, but I did enjoy it. I am pleased that Dave finds the entire thing funny - it's a good sign about OUR marriage. And flattered that Dave's response to me wondering if still seeing a woman you slept with 15 years ago in that light is typical of men was to say, "Depends on the woman." Interesting evening. Wow. No scruples, indeed. He's divorcing, so he's losing his sex partner and is looking up exs he still has fond memories of, thinking maybe he can line up a new sex partner. It's somewhat surprising he did this knowing you were married, and even more surprising he kept up the effort after you brought hubby and baby with you - I mean, that's a pretty clear message, short of wearing a sign that says "I AM UNAVAILABLE AND COMPLETELY UNINTERESTED." Though I'm thinking that even a sign wouldn't do the trick with some guys. It's like that old saying: Hope springs eternal that they will touch your breasts. Or something like that.
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Post by SpringSummers on Nov 2, 2010 14:13:17 GMT -5
I just came from voting, I am feeling my citizenship.
Go, democracy!
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Post by Squeemonster on Nov 2, 2010 14:29:28 GMT -5
Misha and friends decide to have their own tea party:
They even put out an open invitation in a local paper or online paper or something like that beforehand.
Do I even need to repeat how much and why I love this man?
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Post by Spaced Out Looney on Nov 2, 2010 14:34:48 GMT -5
Am off work today to catch up on some things - most notably, my children's services application stuff. I took today and Friday off, and from the looks of things, today is gonna be more about household chores (since I was gone all weekend), and Friday is gonna be more about children's services. I am going to be talking to them this week about the particular child I was interested in.
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Post by Sara on Nov 2, 2010 14:48:40 GMT -5
My neighbor has put up TWO bird feeders and a suet feeder about 15 feet from my own feeder. Surely this is grounds for justifiable... well, homicide might be a little extreme, but a beating up or something, right? Edit: Seriously, I just saw her walking to her door with two more bird feeders. Now I'm getting seriously irritated. I'm trying to figure out how I can justify putting up a seed feeder, given that the cat is out most of the day (and I haven't seen a rat since this started happening) and I don't want to bait any ground-feeding birds to their doom. I'd mostly be worrying about the starlings and blackbirds that number of feeders are going to start attracting, myself. Julia, may need to build a cat-excluder under the feeder. She's the one who owns the cat that's attached itself to my screen a couple of times, too. We don't see too many starlings around here, actually. Blackbirds are a possibility, as are grackles. Ooo... maybe all those bigger birds will start frequenting her feeders and send the littler birds to mine. ;D
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Post by Sara on Nov 2, 2010 14:49:09 GMT -5
Wow. No scruples, indeed. He's divorcing, so he's losing his sex partner and is looking up exs he still has fond memories of, thinking maybe he can line up a new sex partner. It's somewhat surprising he did this knowing you were married, and even more surprising he kept up the effort after you brought hubby and baby with you - I mean, that's a pretty clear message, short of wearing a sign that says "I AM UNAVAILABLE AND COMPLETELY UNINTERESTED." Though I'm thinking that even a sign wouldn't do the trick with some guys. It's like that old saying: Hope springs eternal that they will touch your breasts. Or something like that.
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Post by Julia, wrought iron-y on Nov 2, 2010 14:57:21 GMT -5
I'm trying to figure out how I can justify putting up a seed feeder, given that the cat is out most of the day (and I haven't seen a rat since this started happening) and I don't want to bait any ground-feeding birds to their doom. I'd mostly be worrying about the starlings and blackbirds that number of feeders are going to start attracting, myself. Julia, may need to build a cat-excluder under the feeder. She's the one who owns the cat that's attached itself to my screen a couple of times, too. We don't see too many starlings around here, actually. Blackbirds are a possibility, as are grackles. Ooo... maybe all those bigger birds will start frequenting her feeders and send the littler birds to mine. ;D I'm loving your photos of the little birds, by the way' Not so great at commenting right now, and your not the only one being neglected. Julia, hoping getting my teeth cleaned today won't be too much of a challenge to my respiratory system, since I'm just now getting over the crud.
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Nov 2, 2010 15:10:31 GMT -5
So. Interesting evening I had last night. An ex-sex partner/old college friend (we dated for six weeks, so "boyfriend" is generous) found me via my LinkedIn profile a month or so ago, and sent me an e-mail. We had a couple of nice e-mail chats about family (he has an adorable six-year-old daughter) and work, and he asked if I wanted to have dinner to "catch up". Of course, minor alarm bells, but since it's been 15 years since I saw the man, and I honestly wanted to see him and chat, I said, "Sure." And I brought my husband and daughter with me. As is appropriate when meeting up with an old not-quite-boyfriend. This prompted him (Alan, the guy in question) to ask, "Um, so what does he (Dave) know about us?" Erm. Everything. I mean, what's to know, anyway? Old friend from college, dated for six weeks, haven't seen him in 15 years. I don't hide these things from my husband - why would I? But, at any rate, the alarms got a bit louder - I had suspicions. Which I also told my husband.... We had a lovely dinner last night, and, when Emily was preparing to insist that it was bedtime, for crying out loud, Dave took her for a little walk while Alan and I finished up. At which point Alan decided it was time to tell me that he and his wife were divorcing. And some of the reasons why. *sigh* (In a mildly amused way.) Some people really don't change, do they? That information couldn't have been conveyed over the last month's worth of e-mails? Or while Dave was in the room? I mean, I'm trying to be charitable about it, but I *really* feel like he still has zero scruples when it comes to women, and was possibly putting the moves on me while my husband was within shouting distance. And now I get to have Dave tease me about my "date with a divorced guy" until at least Christmas. And feel guilty because, despite myself, I enjoyed the attention. I won't be encouraging any MORE of it, but I did enjoy it. I am pleased that Dave finds the entire thing funny - it's a good sign about OUR marriage. And flattered that Dave's response to me wondering if still seeing a woman you slept with 15 years ago in that light is typical of men was to say, "Depends on the woman." Interesting evening. Fortunate, fortunate lady! Number 1: Bringing Dave and Emily was the single rightest thing you could have done. Sure it's nice to have a catch up session with an old flame but nothing says "I'm unavailable, uninterested and unimpressed" like bringing the whole family to what your Former thought was going to be a romantic evening with a prelude to seduction. Number 2: Drop the guilt like a bad habit. Dave is clearly not threatened and you did nothing, repeat: NOTHING wrong. Enjoy the attention? Of course. Who, after a long workday and a few hours with a toddler, doesn't want to feel attractive and desirable? Enjoy it. Revel in it. Dave clearly knew this would give your ego a boost--and still isn't threatened. He's secure enough and trusting enough to walk off with Emily and leave you with said Former. Wonderful Dave! Lucky you! My ex would have had a violent, ugly fit and would have tormented me about it for decades after. Ian would have had the same reaction Dave had. He would have thought it hilarious. In fact, in a not unrelated incident, he DID think it was hilarious. My advice is tonight get a bottle of wine, put Emily down to sleep as early as possible, forget the whole incident and jump that wonderful man of yours! Don't forget to remind him about his wonderfulness. I'm expecting my detailed vicarious smoochies tomorrow morning along with sh*t eatin' grins on both your faces.
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Post by beccaelizabeth on Nov 2, 2010 15:23:31 GMT -5
I got the letters that say my student finance grant will happen! College payday! and in the library today I made a plan for the exam. ... a plan to make a plan. a sort of plan-like... okay, it needs work, but, I have a direction to work IN. and now I have chocolate brownies.
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Post by SpringSummers on Nov 2, 2010 15:30:57 GMT -5
I got the letters that say my student finance grant will happen! College payday! and in the library today I made a plan for the exam. ... a plan to make a plan. a sort of plan-like... okay, it needs work, but, I have a direction to work IN. and now I have chocolate brownies. CONGRATS!!!
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Post by S'ewing S'cubie on Nov 2, 2010 15:38:07 GMT -5
I got the letters that say my student finance grant will happen! College payday! and in the library today I made a plan for the exam. ... a plan to make a plan. a sort of plan-like... okay, it needs work, but, I have a direction to work IN. and now I have chocolate brownies. Good on the grant. Good on the payday! Woot for plan-like! But SUPER WOOT on the brownies. Just because.
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Post by Rachael on Nov 2, 2010 17:53:23 GMT -5
So. Interesting evening I had last night. An ex-sex partner/old college friend (we dated for six weeks, so "boyfriend" is generous) found me via my LinkedIn profile a month or so ago, and sent me an e-mail. We had a couple of nice e-mail chats about family (he has an adorable six-year-old daughter) and work, and he asked if I wanted to have dinner to "catch up". Of course, minor alarm bells, but since it's been 15 years since I saw the man, and I honestly wanted to see him and chat, I said, "Sure." And I brought my husband and daughter with me. As is appropriate when meeting up with an old not-quite-boyfriend. This prompted him (Alan, the guy in question) to ask, "Um, so what does he (Dave) know about us?" Erm. Everything. I mean, what's to know, anyway? Old friend from college, dated for six weeks, haven't seen him in 15 years. I don't hide these things from my husband - why would I? But, at any rate, the alarms got a bit louder - I had suspicions. Which I also told my husband.... We had a lovely dinner last night, and, when Emily was preparing to insist that it was bedtime, for crying out loud, Dave took her for a little walk while Alan and I finished up. At which point Alan decided it was time to tell me that he and his wife were divorcing. And some of the reasons why. *sigh* (In a mildly amused way.) Some people really don't change, do they? That information couldn't have been conveyed over the last month's worth of e-mails? Or while Dave was in the room? I mean, I'm trying to be charitable about it, but I *really* feel like he still has zero scruples when it comes to women, and was possibly putting the moves on me while my husband was within shouting distance. And now I get to have Dave tease me about my "date with a divorced guy" until at least Christmas. And feel guilty because, despite myself, I enjoyed the attention. I won't be encouraging any MORE of it, but I did enjoy it. I am pleased that Dave finds the entire thing funny - it's a good sign about OUR marriage. And flattered that Dave's response to me wondering if still seeing a woman you slept with 15 years ago in that light is typical of men was to say, "Depends on the woman." Interesting evening. Wow. No scruples, indeed. He's divorcing, so he's losing his sex partner and is looking up exs he still has fond memories of, thinking maybe he can line up a new sex partner. It's somewhat surprising he did this knowing you were married, and even more surprising he kept up the effort after you brought hubby and baby with you - I mean, that's a pretty clear message, short of wearing a sign that says "I AM UNAVAILABLE AND COMPLETELY UNINTERESTED." Now, see, that's what *I* thought. Bring the family, preclude all advances. But, no. He's either amoral when it comes to relationships, or else he's got a serious case of "can't read signals". He also offered to drive me home. "If Dave needs to take Emily home, I can drop you off." What? NO. Seriously. I've been out of play for a while now, but I'm not blind or stupid. And I do have a wonderful husband.
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Post by Sara on Nov 2, 2010 18:55:51 GMT -5
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Post by Sue on Nov 2, 2010 19:25:54 GMT -5
Julia -- The Diocese of Olympia would be where you are, yes? See: www.ecww.org/news_detail.cfm?NID=846Josh is the son of acquaintances of ours. His mom is very good friends with both of my SIL -- they grew up together as summer neighbors on Harvey's Lake PA and Carolyn even played with his older sister for several summers before we stopped going to PA.
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Post by Lola m on Nov 2, 2010 19:49:57 GMT -5
Ah, Glee! Beck's "Loser" performed by the gang at Sheets N' Things? Will NEVER STOP BEING AWESOME!!
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